Get into our Christmas shorts -- it's December's HMN!

Happy merry, horribillies!

Hope the holidaze is treating you well so far. We're very excited/sorry to announce our December show -- it's a first for HMN! We unearthed two short subjects that bowled us over, so we're gonna show both of 'em. To wit --

First off is "Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny" from 1972, a bizarre tale of Santa being stranded on a beach in Florida just a couple of days before his Christmas rounds. He manages to corral a group of kids to help him, which entails auditioning various animals to pull his sleigh (including a gorilla) before his old pal the Ice Cream Bunny (no relation to the Ice Truck Killer) shows up. Yowza!





Next is 1964's "The Magic Christmas Tree". Yes, the same year the beloved "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" premiered on TV, this lump of coal somehow graced theater screens. The first & last movie for the director and most of the actors, it concerns a mouthy brat who meets a witch who gives him a ring, which creates a talking Christmas tree. The tree gives him three wishes, one of which he uses to imprison Santa at his house (à la "Reservoir Dogs"). Add in a race between a turtle and a lawnmower, and a pedifi-tastic woodsman/ogre, and you have a recipe for horrific holiday merriment.



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Thursday, December 16th, 2010
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - Ruby Theater
6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

We're doing a special Thursday night show, cuz we know your weekend is totally taken up with holiday parties. And as much as we like watching bad movies, we wanna see "Tron" this weekend like everyone else. Find us this month in the Ruby Theater, located in the main lobby of The Comnplex. Plentiful, free parking on Wilcox, just north of Santa Monica Blvd. You will thrill to the improv of the Omelettes, who will provide entertainment throughout the show. Friend 'em on Facebook!

To ward off the evening chill, there'll be drinks for sale at the HMN bar, along with freshly-baked brownies. But the best part of the evening will be you! We rely on the audience to riff the movie, so come armed with only best, hand-picked witticisms, and you may walk away with a prize.

Watching these wonderfully bad holiday films will be like a TSA pat-down, if you were super-duper ticklish. Come join us for the show, and spread the word on your Facebook, Twitter, and your other word-spreading apps. Get on the mailing list if you haven't, and follow us on the aforementioned sites if you haven't.

We'll look forward to seeing you. Happy holidaze!

HMN

This November, you get a Ponch in the face!

Fall back, HMNers!

This is our favorite time of the year, as the rest of the country joins us in celebrating the turkey. And do we have a doozy to roast for you this month...

You know you've found a special movie when Erik Estrada is the best thing in it. That movie is 1990's "The Lost Idol". Set just after the Vietnam War, the film chronicles a mission to retrieve a giant golden statue, stashed in the jungle by Lt. Oliver (John Phillips, also the screenwriter), a greedy and traitorous U.S. soldier. Erik Estrada is a reluctant member of the fortune hunter team, forced to assist to protect his family. But he plans revenge against Oliver, his former commanding officer, and aims to make him pay for his treachery.

This film boasts a good deal of superlatives on its trek through the jungle, Cambodian sex bars, and the most poorly-run humanitarian aid center. Myra Chason is by far the absolute worst actor we've ever seen, and hilariously so. An Austrian bodybuilder sports an accent that makes Arnold Schwarzenegger sound like Sir Laurence Olivier. And can you truly take a villain seriously if he looks just like Dr. Seuss?

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Saturday, November 20th, 2010
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - Flight Theater (upstairs)
6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

We'll be bouncing around the various theaters of The Complex in the next few months -- November's show will take place upstairs in the Flight Theater. Follow the signs when you arrive. Parking is free & plentiful on Wilcox north of Santa Monica.

Tom Winkler of doodie.com will officiate this unholy union of movie and audience, with The Omelettes performing 80s hits, in the form of improv based on the movie. We'll have drinks possessing various powers (sorry, no Four Loko), along with fresh-baked brownies. And we'll be doling out prizes for those brave & hilarious wits with the best riffs of the evening. Pack your funny!

So come on down to the show, and we'll dogpile on this cinematic circus like it was Cooks Source magazine. Tell your friends, and join us on our email list if you haven't already, and our various web portals (Facebook, Twitter).


We'll look forward to seeing your horrible selves!

Hugs,

HMN

You can't be uninvited to the horror of "Uninvited"!

Hello, HMN true believers -

It's nearly time to unspool another of our impossibly awful films, and we'd love to have you collectively feel the pain.  "Uninvited" is a hilarious sea voyage with a murderous mutant cat, dopey college kids, and knucklehead criminals.  It mustn't be missed!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Saturday, October 16th, 2010 - 8PM 

(Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - Dorie Theater
6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

We set sail this Saturday at 8PM, so make sure to get on board at the Dorie Theater in The Complex.  This show is brought to you by Cheezy Flicks, who fully endorse "Uninvited" as fine example of glorious cheesy cinema.

Tell a friend, and come join us!  Thanks for your support.

HMN

Too horrible for HMN! Exhibit B - "Beasties"

Here's another entry in our ongoing series of movies we've screened that have not made the cut for our show, but are still worth a masochistic look.

Exhibit B is 1991's "Beasties", which unfortunately has nothing to do with the Boys of the same name. It's a goof on the 1950s alien-invasion-during-teen-rutting-season, with some odd additions. A nerdy science major goes on a double date, with the worst John Candy/Robin Williams imitator tagging along as his wingman. The group is captured by some punks (the zeitgeist version of punk rockers of the late 80s), who are in league with a satanic priestess. Oh, and there's aliens, too.

It's fun and stupid and weird and all the good things that make a HMN movie, but it's a bit slow, and shot amazing poorly (it was filmed in Super 8, and the DVD is a VHS transfer). There's a lot of funny moments, though, as evidenced in the trailer below. Watch only if you have extra ADHD meds.



Don't forget to join us for the killer mutant cat opus "Uninvited" this Saturday, October 16th at The Complex in Hollywood!

HMN

You'll need all nine lives to survive "Uninvited"!

Fall back, HMNers!

Hope you had a great summer, and it was a hoot to host many of you during our first horrible year of bad movie shows. And we're only getting ramped up -- prepare for the October/Halloween edition of Horrible Movie Night! You are hereby invited to "Uninvited"!

From 1988, "Uninvited" is a rollicking, scary voyage aboard a luxury yacht, with the unlikely combo of nubile spring-breakers and criminal venture capitalists. A simple excursion to the Cayman Islands is terrorized by a genetically-mutated cat who kills, at first, only mean people, then indiscriminately. Director Greydon Clark also gave us the videogame sex romp "Joysticks".

It's hilariously bad -- when the cat mutates to attack, a hairball-like creature pops out of its mouth to bite ankles, wrists, and other body parts to a comically bloody effect. It also stars screen legend George Kennedy, who heavily sighs his way through his role as the criminal mastermind's bodyguard. Along with some other seasoned character actors (including Clu Gulager of "Return of the Living Dead"), the cast is filled out with young duds fumbling through their death scenes. "Uninvited" is an absolute joy to behold.



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Saturday, October 16th, 2010
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - Dorie Theater
6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

This month's HMN is brought to you by the good folks at Cheezy Flicks Entertainment, purveyors of wondrous cinematic examples of cult, horror, and -- well, cheese. Visit them and browse their inspiring collection of DVDs -- including "Uninvited"!

As always, you can count on host Tom Winkler of doodie.com to guide you through the hilarious haunted house that is HMN. The cackling ghosts & skeletons will be played by The Omelettes, peppering the evening with spooky improv. But the real star of the night is YOU! Come equipped with your funniest jibes & japes, and you may stumble home with a prize for the best one-liner of the show.

We'll have beer, wine, and other delicious beverages, along with freshly-baked brownies. Come early to secure yourself a seat or two -- park on Wilcox, north of Santa Monica Blvd. for choice parking. We promise we won't shred your couch or eat your houseplants if you join us for this purrrfectly horrible evening! See you then!

Meow,

HMN

It's our first anniversary, and you get the gift -- of "Alien Warrior"!

Happy anniversary, HMNers!

The Horrible Movie Nightly news is September marks one year of bad movies, great improv, and hilarious commentary. So to celebrate, we've dug deep into the archive (meaning the gap between the wall and the video shelf where all the worst movies hide) to find an especially odious film to subject you to. It's a little something called, "Alien Warrior" a.k.a, "King of the Streets".

From 1985, this innocuously-titled film is the very thinly veiled story of Jesus' brother (nicknamed Buddy, the original Buddy Christ) who comes to Earth to fight "great evil" in order to make a difference for us humans. Said great evil turns out to be "Mr. One", a pimp and crime kingpin with a booming business of blackmail, prostitution, and really mean staredowns. A collection of disaffected Los Angelenos match wits, fists, and bullets with Mr. One & his gang, thanks to Buddy's various teachings. He also tries to impart a message of kindness & empathy, but also bloodies up a whole lot of people, and sexes down a literacy volunteer.

This film has a severe case of cinematic schizophrenia -- it has no idea what it wants to be. Is it an action movie? Inspirational film? Soft-core? Comedy? After-school special? It certainly tries on all those hats, yet leaves the store without buying. You do, however, get to see the crime lord firing an Uzi while dressed only in his tighty whities. You'll feel like you were hit with an electric cattle prod after watching this one. In a good way.



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Saturday, September 18th, 2010
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - Dorie Theater
6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

We'd love to have you down to help us celebrate! Seating is limited. Come down early to snag some seats, some drinks, and food from whatever food truck is outside the Smodcastle next door. We'll have beer, wine, soda, and water for sale to help hydrate your funny bone. Parking is best on Wilcox, north of Santa Monica Blvd. Map it, dude.

Your host is Tom Winkler, grizzled veteran of many bad movies, and creator of doodie.com. Halftime improv will hilariously hurled at you courtesy of The Omelettes.

Remember that you can win a special prize for the funniest riff of the night, but only if you give us your best. So polish up your best witticisms for a great evening of painfully funny cinema. Get on the mailing list if y'ain't, and accept our friendship on Facebook and Twitter, too.

We'll hope to see you -- in September, into our second year, and beyond! Thanks for your support.

We remain yours,

HMN

Too horrible for HMN! Exhibit A -- "Exterminator City"

We go through a lot of movies when programming HMN. There is a very fine line of what makes a great bad movie -- it can't be too bad (i.e. boring, inaudible) or too good (campy, trying too hard). There have been almost-great movies we've seen that haven't made the cut, and we thought we'd share a few with you.

Exhibit A is 2005's "Exterminator City". Like a car that is held together with rivets, this movie is held together by boobs. It involves a serial killer robot that only kills overly-endowed ladies in states on undress. He is hunted by a detective robot with whom, at one point, he has a sword fight (!?). It features some of the worst special effects we've seen (a flying car on a stick in front of a poster of a cityscape).

Beware the trailer is NSFW!



This movie was suggested by one of our fans, and we love your suggestions! Let us know if there's any bad movies we should be aware of -- email us, or add to the discussions page on HMN's Facebook page.

Our one-year anniversary show is Saturday, September 18th -- very special movie to be announced soon!

Your pals,

HMN

You will want revenge upon "Twister's Revenge"!

Ahoy, HMNers -

Hope you're having a horrible summer! It is with great shame & regret that HMN is proud to present August's film, 1987's "Twister's Revenge" -- the talking monster truck movie. It's not often that we find a film with no trailer, but this doorknob of a flick doesn't even have a poster nor VHS box art. It's as if it was never supposed to be seen -- be seen -- be seen --

Mr. Twister is the top monster truck in Wisconsin, mostly because of the computer modifications made by Shelley, its owner. Shelley and her fiancé, Dave (Mr. Twister's driver) are on the junk car-encrusted road to success until three redneck mechanics get wind of the expensive computer equipment inside Mr. Twister, and scheme to steal it.

When the theft turns into Shelley's kidnapping, Dave vows revenge and finds Mr. Twister has developed a personality & speech. The chase to find Shelley and defeat the stone-dumb bad guys features a showdown between Mr. Twister and a tank, and the destruction of an outhouse named -- yes, the Shit House. Welcome to the Shit House.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Saturday, August 14th, 2010
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - Dorie Theater
6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Get on down early to ensure a seat! We'll have recession pricing on beer, wine, water, soda, and freshly-baked brownies. Your host for the evening is HMN's answer to Rod Serling, Tom Winkler. The film will be wonderfully interrupted by The Omelettes, who will provide improv and thought-provoking fart jokes.

Speaking of jokes, if you yell out the funniest riff of the evening, you will win a prize. So don't spurt out any old thing that comes to mind, make it extra special funny-like. It's the honeymoon suite of movie riffing!

Get on the mailing list if y'ain't, follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and thanks always for your support!

Yours,

HMN

"Deadly Prey" will prey upon you like prey -- with laughter!

Summer is here, and it's time for the first of HMN's blockworsters -- 1987's "Deadly Prey". A compound of vigilante soldiers is training in the mountains (which look a lot like Riverside, CA), and are using ordinary citizens kidnapped from the city as live bait to hone their hunting skills. That is, until they snatch Mike Danton off the sidewalk. Danton is (natch) ex-Special Forces, and can dispatch a bad guy in any number of Bear Grylis-type ways. He must eventually face off with the compound's commander -- his former commanding officer. Didn't see that comin', didja?

This one is a special kind of awful, and we haven't laughed this hard in a while. "Rambo: First Blood" was based on a novel -- if that novel was a coloring book, and they made that coloring book into a movie, you'd have "Deadly Prey". Plus it's the third movie HMN has shown featuring our muse of badness, Cameron Mitchell. This one must not be missed! It's a real grenade down the pants (and yes -- a grenade is shoved down someone's pants).



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Saturday, July 17th, 2010
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - Ruby Theater
6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

We're back downstairs in the Ruby Theater -- you can find us in the main lobby of The Complex. Come on down, and we'll get you a seat! There will be the usual assortment of drinks & libations, along with freshly-baked brownies for the sugar rush you'll need to make fun of this turkey.

Your host for the evening is Tom Winkler of doodie.com, raconteur and veteran of several tours of bad movie duty. The white-hot Omelettes will be on hand for the halftime & end credits improv. You will love them all! That's an order!

And as always, there will be prizes for the funniest riffs of the evening. That's on you! So bring your best funny, and come on down for the horrible fun. Get with us on Facebook, Twitter, and our mailing list, too! Hope to see you there!

Luff,

HMN

In the case of "Alien Vs. Hunter" -- guilty of being awesomely awful!

Hey gang -

We're back somewhat soon with another show, and it's another HMN first -- our first widescreen movie! Before you yell, "Sellout!", know that we wouldn't temporarily abandon our beloved VHS without a good reason. That reason is 2007's "Alien Vs. Hunter".

This mockbuster attempts to emulate the success (?) of "Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem", and lucky for all of us, it stumbles & bumbles like a Charlie Chaplin impersonator. The story centers around Lee (played by "Greatest American Hero" star William Katt), a floundering writer who happens upon a crashed UFO. Once it's found to be chock full o' alien hostility, he gathers up some of the townsfolk to make a stand. It soon becomes clear there are two alien forces in town, bent on destroying each other and any other meat bags in their way. Who will be victorious -- alien, human, or neither?



It's a staggeringly wonderful film. It has occupied space in the IMDB Bottom 100 list practically since it's been released. By their own admission, the filmmakers have said they rarely did more than two takes for each scene -- and boy, does it show. The actors get lost from each other in the editing, the dialogue is bizarre, and the special effects are, well -- special. It also stars Dedee Pfeiffer, Michelle Pfeiffer's sister. However, it's William Katt's acting that takes the cake. You will see why he was once on the short list to play Luke Skywalker.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Saturday, June 5th, 2010
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - Flight Theater
6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

We've bounced back upstairs to the Flight Theater, so make sure to follow the signs, and look for us up there this month. The theater will fill up quickly, so git yer butt down there EARLY -- it's the only way to guarantee a seat. We'll ply your will with beer, wine, soft drinks, and brownies. Y'know, so it won't sting so much.

Our beloved Omelettes will take the stage halfway through the film, and improv the heck outta you. And we're counting on YOU to exercise your funny muscles and bring your best one-liners to roast this turkey. You may just win a prize at the end of the show!

This month's HMN is brought to you by our good pals at The Asylum. If you've ever switched on SyFy late at night, you've probably caught one of their magnum opuses. We're very glad to have them aboard -- go check out their site to see previews of upcoming films, and perhaps buy a hat, mug, or DVD!

Make sure to get cozy with our Facebook page, hop on to us on Twitter, and get on our mailing list if you ain't already. So chose Team Alien or Team Hunter, and we'll see you at the theater! Thanks for your support!

Fondly,

HMN

Thanks for the May meatiness!

Hello folks -

Well, you did it again -- you all made our screening of "The Meateater" meaty, meaty great! It was a killer show all around. We also thank HMN's very first special guest, Richard Nathan, who acted in the film. He was a great sport, a treat to have onstage, and made a great evening even better. If you'd like to know more about the man, visit his site, and see him act in a recent video.

We also want to thank our good pals at Candy Warehouse, our sponsor for the show. Check 'em out for the best candy site out there (a great source for nostalgic candy, too).










We'll be back Saturday, June 5th for our next show, featuring "Alien Vs. Hunter". More details soon. Hope to see you all again!

Luff,

HMN

Sponsored this month by MEAT!

Hello, stalwart HMNauts -

A summer's worth of blockbusters will soon be anointed upon the feet of the moviegoing public, so since nature abhors a vacuum, we have an onslaught of Horrible Movies all set to play counterpoint for the next few months. Next up is 1979's horror movie fumble, "The Meateater".

A jaw-dropping mess, this is the story of Mitford Webster, a hapless shoe salesman who dreams of one day owning a movie theater. Just his rotten luck the one he finally purchases comes equipped with its own psycho killer in the attic! When people start turning up dead, the corpulent police department is no match for the acumen of the slow-moving slayer. Will Mitford and his plucky family survive to serve another bag of stale popcorn?

Even for us at HMN, this one took our breath away. The guy playing Mitford is quite possibly the worst (therefore absolutely delightful) actor we've ever seen. No one ever has ever pronounced the word "theater" finer. The character names are fantastic (Detective Wombat? Really?), and dialogue clunks to the floor as soon as it is uttered. The color is so bad that it looks like the film has been sitting in a sun-bleached window for a few months.

And then there's the meat.

Supposedly, the filmmakers ran out of money, and appealed to the California Pork Board for help. In exchange, there are many incongruous references to meat -- the benefits of breakfast sausages are extolled, the Oscar Mayer wiener song is sung, and Detective Wombat chomps incessantly on beef jerky. "The Meateater" is an insane joy.

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Saturday, May 15th, 2010
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - East Theater
6468 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The movie will be served up by your host, Tom Winkler, creator of doodie.com, and I'm Not Insane. Adding spices will be The Omelettes, who will improv their way into your tummies by way of your heart. If you survive the movie, you may win a prize for the absolute best comments yelled out during the show. Bring your A game, people -- we want to hear comedy gems. There will be a spectrum of drinks available, as well as freshly-baked brownies, the quietest movie snack ever. And there will be a special surprise guest -- a HMN first!

We are in a new theater this month -- the East Theater is still part of The Complex, but has its own entrance at 6468 Santa Monica Blvd. Please ARRIVE EARLY! We have limited seating, and it filled up quickly last time. Thanks again for your support, tell a friend, join our various lists, and we'll see you at the theater!

HMN

Ding! Your April HMN is ready!

Every once in a while here at HMN headquarters, we discover a movie so stunningly staggeringly bad, it surprises even us. That movie is our latest cinematic Hindenburg, 1983's "Microwave Massacre". It's the tragic tale of Donald, a lowly dipshit who works construction, who is tormented by the overly fancy meals prepared by his gourmet cook wife, May. One drunken night, he can't take another chicken cordon bleu, so he whacks her and eats her (!). From that point on, he sates his taste for human flesh by picking up various women for take-out.

The lead role is played by Jackie Vernon, the voice of Frosty the Snowman in the beloved Rankin/Bass classic cartoon. You'll never hear, "Happy Birthday" the same way ever again. You also get the rubberiest severed body parts, the gigantic-est microwave oven, and the porniest of 70s funk soundtracks. Not to mention gratuitous 80s boobage (the trailer below is NSFW)!

The comedy is psychotic, the horror is hysterical, the script is ludicrous, and the direction is baffling. This one truly smacked our gob, and we cordially dare you to join us to send up this masterpiece.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Saturday, April 10, 2009
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-



This month's show is being brought to you with the support of our pals at Anthem Pictures -- visit their site to see the plethora of great films they have available!

The Omelettes will be on hand to perform improv halfway through the picture, and take the film out to the woodshed at the end. Your host is Tom Winkler, creator of doodie.com, and the brand-new I'm Not Insane. He will guide you all through this month's movie like a swan boat through a Tunnel of Love.

You will also be competing for prizes honoring the funniest quips shouted out during the movie -- this movie ain't gonna riff itself! We'll have all manner of drinks available, plus freshly-baked brownies! Come down early to insure a spot. We have very limited seating! Follow us on Facebook & Twitter, and sign up for updates at horriblemovie@pacbell.net, if you haven't already. Bring a friend or two, and come on down! We'll look forward to seeing you & thanks for the support.

Ding!

HMN's host -- insane, or not?

Our amazing host, Tom Winkler, has embarked upon another Web mission (in addition to his previous & ongoing adventures Doodie.com and Don't Whack Your Boss). This time, it's I'm Not Insane -- a place to prove your sanity to the world, and win a t-shirt while you're at it! Here's an explanation in Tom's own words:

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Hello. I'm Tom. The creator of doodie.com.
People have called me insane for years.
Well I'm not. I'm not insane.

Do you feel the same way?
Would you like to join me in sharing
this safety evoking message with the masses?

Every weekday we will post several photographs from around the planet.
Pictures of you, proclaiming your utter lack of insanity.

Friends and strangers alike will have the opportunity to vote for
whomever seems the most 'not insane' and we'll announce
the winner every night at midnight New York time.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

This looks promising, folks -- the not-insane among us now have a voice! Go visit, win, and wear your shirt proudly!

Putting the turd in Saturday, it's March's Horrible Movie Night!

It can now be unleashed!

The March HMN film is 1989's, "Terror in Beverly Hills". This amazingly inept and stupefying actioner stars Frank Stallone as -- get this -- Hack Stone, a retired Special Forces soldier now running a martial arts studio. When the President's daughter, while shopping in Beverly Hills, is kidnapped by terrorists, Hack is mobilized to get her back. The leader of the terrorist organization has a score to settle with Hack, so he ups the ante by kidnapping Hack's family. Now it's on like a Toyota gas pedal.

The ridiculousness in this movie knows no bounds. An eight year-old with an Etch-A-Sketch could write a more cogent plot, although that movie wouldn't be half as hilarious. We are treated to superlative stereotypes in a strip bar, the world's worst TV anchor broadcasting from what looks like a janitor's closet, and the President's colorful kaleidoscope of telephones. There are flubbed takes, clunky ad-libs, and stilted ADR -- none of which made it to the cutting room floor where it belongs. Truly, it's a jawdropper!

This movie also reunites Cameron Mitchell, and William Smith, two veterans of many Z-grade films, who previously appeared together in October '09's HMN, "Memorial Valley Massacre". But it's Frank Stallone's picture, and he's pure gold with every word that muscles its way out of his mouth.



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Saturday, March 13, 2009
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Your HMN improv team, The Omelettes, will be on hand to spank the film heartily throughout the evening, and your host, Tom Winkler, creator of doodie.com, and Don't Whack Your Boss, will dreamily MC you to heaven.

Seating is limited, so get yourself down to the theater early before we sell out our seats! We are back downstairs in the Dorie Theater (in the main lobby), so you can't miss us. Seriously, don't miss us! We will have drinks, some containing alcohol, for sale along with snacks.

We'll have prizes for the top quotable quotes yelled out during the show! Get on our mailing list (horriblemovie@pacbell.net), or Facebook, or Twitter if you ain't already. We'll keep an eye out for you -- come one down!

HMN

You'll go snowblind watching this month's movie!

Happy February, HMN friends!

As part of our outreach program to help you all get through the corporate obligation that is Valentine's Day (the day, not the movie -- although you may need counseling for that, too), we offer this month's horrible movie -- the 1988 ski slope slasher, "Iced".

This stinker takes place at a ski resort, where a gaggle of idiots (who are almost always photographed like they're posing for a group photo) take in some skiing, drinking, and shtupping. When one of the fellas loses his girl to a rival, he vows revenge and angrily takes to the slopes, dying in the process. Or does he --? Four years later, the same group is mysteriously invited to a time-share ski weekend, where they are picked off by a ski-masked killer. Hmmmmm.

The screenplay was written by one of the actors (his first and last), and it also features Lisa Loring, who played Wednesday Adams in the original "Addams Family" TV series, who gives us some serious nakedity. What would Cousin Itt say?

There's some wonderful ridiculousness in this film: a man not able to find reverse on his car, nude cocaine use, a clairvoyant real estate developer, and the most hilarious carrot eating scene in the history of film.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Saturday, February 20, 2009
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

As always, the killer Omelettes will perform improv at the halfway mark of the movie, and during the end credits. Your host is Tom Winkler, creator of doodie.com, and Don'tWhackYourBoss.com -- he will lovingly guide you through this cinematic sweat lodge.

We sold out last month's show, so if you want a seat, show your ass up early! It's limited seating. We will be upstairs at the Flight theater this month -- there'll be plenty of signage to guide you there. Beer, wine, water, and all manner of treats will be available at our horrible concession stand.

And there will be prizes awarded for the best quotes yelled out during the performance. Get on our mailing list (horriblemovie@pacbell.net), or Facebook, or Twitter if you ain't already. We'll look for you at the theater!

HMN's Omelettes in the wild!

If you like the improv goodness that is the Omelettes at our shows, then you should head on out to support them at some special comedy events. First off, Steve is part of an improv competition every Monday:

IO West - Mondays at 8PM
http://west.ioimprov.com/

And Lindsey does a similar competition at the The Improv Space every Thursday:

Improv Space - Thursdays at 8PM
http://www.theimprovspace.com/

Both of these are "American Idol"-style judged contests -- the more support they get, the farther they get in the competition. So, head on out to see 'em one of these days. Perhaps we'll see you there!

And our next HMN is Saturday, February 20th at 8PM. Movie announcement to follow. See ya!

Hello, dear bad movie aficionados!

We hope you survived the holidaze, and send you the brightest greetings for the next decade. Let's start it off with something horrible!

For January, we proudly present "Guns of El Chupacabra" (trailer here). This 1997 epic chronicles the adventures of Jack B. Quick, Space Sheriff, on a mission from Queen Bee and King Allmedia (oh, yes) to hunt down an interstellar chupacabra let loose on Earth. A documentary film crew is investigating the deaths caused by the chupacabra, and a vigilante luchador decides to hunt the creature, as well. Also along for the ride are ninjas, government agents, aliens, and shotgun-wielding naked women.

Still with us? Good.

This cryptozoological sci-fi nightmare was written, produced, and starred in by the amazingly prolific Scott Shaw, creator of over 40 films (we highly recommend visiting his site). In 2007, Shaw was bestowed with a Smithee award for "Guns" -- the Smithees are given out yearly to only the most terrible movies (see his acceptance video here). It's HMN's first award-winning film!

It also stars scream-queen Julie Strain, her real-life husband (and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" co-creator) Kevin Eastman, and Martin Sheen's brother Joe Estevez. The performance to watch, however, is Robert Z'Dar (who shined in "Maniac Cop"), as Z-Man Lord Invader, the doughiest galactic overlord you'll ever see. Only your last acid flashback will compare with the joyous horror you will experience with us.

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Saturday, January 23rd, 2009
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
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The lovely Omelettes will take the stage to improv scenes midway through the flick, and your host is the scintillating Tom Winkler of doodie.com. They will rock you.

We're doing our regular Saturday show, and no longer require RSVPs! Just show on up early before we run out of seats. We will have beer, wine, water, and snacks for sale in the lobby as you ponder what type of twisted creature you will become after being subjected to this month's movie.

There will be prizes for the quippiest quips, plus a couple special surprises. You can't miss it -- technically, you can miss it, but you will forever rue the day! Join our Facebook group and follow us on Twitter if you haven't already. And spread the word!

We'll look forward to seeing you at the show!