Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Too horrible for HMN! Exhibit P: "Laser Moon"

Ahoy hoy -

Here's another in our semi-regular series of movies fully-awful -- movies too crummy even for us.

1993 brought the world "Laser Moon", one of many post-porn sorties for Traci Lords.  She had been on this path for a few years, so it's not "Not of This Earth"-level bad.  It's just drop-dead boring.

A serial killer is on the loose, and he kills only under a full moon.  Even more specific is his weapon of choice -- a high-powered laser, which he presses against his victims' head, boiling their brains.  It ain't a very scary weapon.  It looks more like a big laser pointer.

Anyway, the killer taunts the public by calling in to a popular talk radio program with clues and boasts.  Traci is a forensic cop assigned to catch the laser villain. She has scenes with the radio DJ, other cops, and various randos that bend time with how long they drag on.  It's like Eric Bogosian's "Talk Radio" meets a bottle of Nyquil.

We'd link a clip, but the internet has rejected any video evidence like the human body rejects a black market kidney.  Seek it out if you need assistance falling asleep.

Our next HMN show at NerdMelt in Hollywood will be Saturday, May 9th.  We'll have an announcement of the chilly selection we've made, along with our awesome stand-ups.  Stay with us!



Sunday, April 5, 2015

Come hunt the action-packed bounty of PAROLE VIOLATORS!

Happy Easter, VHSers!

We are anxious to lay a beautifully-decorated rotten egg in your basket this month -- it's 1994's Parole Violators!

Miles Long is a disgraced former cop who has taken to busting criminals a different way -- as the host of the hit local access TV show, "Parole Violators." With his trusty video camera, he follows around recent parolees, goading them into committing new crimes (which kinda makes him worse than the criminals themselves). When a particularly scummy scumbag is freed and subsequently kidnaps his girlfriend's daughter, Miles goes on the offensive. Well, more on the offensive.

This movie's got more action than an old-timey director's megaphone. Stuntman-turned-actor Sean Donahue and his director father Patrick churned out a slew of quickie action movies in the 90s, hoping to turn Sean into a star. Considering HMN is showing one of his movies clues you in to how it turned out.

Saturday, April 11, 2015
(Doors 8:30)
NerdMelt Showroom
7522 Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, Calif. 90046
Tickets: $8. in advance ($10. at the door)

We are excited to have you all down to the show to roast this Easter egg. Grab tickets in advance on the cheap, and save two dollars!  We will also welcome our excellent stand-up talent: BRYAN COOK (Erotic Fan Fiction), and LISA BEST (Warped Penguin Comedy Show)! Don't forget the free popcorn (meaning we have it here for you. Don't bring us free popcorn).

Let's do this! Follow us on social media, and get on our mailing list -- we have an astounding guest co-host coming to a future show, and mailing list subscribers get first crack at tickets. See you at the theater, little cottontails.

Thumpity thump-thump,