Tuesday, December 1, 2009

You better watch out --

Happy Horribledays!

As we approach awards season, Hollywood will bring out its best -- be it tear-jerking Oscar bait, or FX-laden epics, they are all sure to be wonderful gifts. But if you prefer a cinematic lump of coal, HMN has you covered (we know you've been bad, anyway).

That said, allow us to present Hulk Hogan in 1996's "Santa with Muscles", a film so bad, the original screenwriter sued to have his name removed from the credits. This cheesy Christmas disaster features the Hulkster as a millionaire of questionable morals (a stretch --?) who, during a run from the law, is knocked out cold and wakes up thinking he is Santa Claus. He somehow hooks up with an orphanage bedeviled by evil scientists (the head baddie is played by Ed Begley Jr.), and proceeds to do good. You will notice Mila Kunis in one of her first film roles as an orphan. But no rotten movie is complete without the inimitable Clint Howard! This one has got it all.

In deference to your busy December schedule, we have programmed HMN for a Thursday evening (we know your Saturdays are all taken up -- we checked). So instead of watching "FlashForward", come party with us and holler to your heart's content at one of the worst holiday movies you'll ever see.

Thursday, December 17th, 2009
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038

We had a great turnout last time, so get your RSVPs in toot sweet to insure your seats.

RSVP now to: horriblemovie@pacbell.net

The always-fantastic Omelettes will again perform, and your host Tom Winkler of doodie.com will guide you down Candy Cane Lane for the evening. It promises to be some howlin' good holiday terror. Beer, wine, and snacks will be available to soothe your Christmas music-tortured soul.

Make sure to spread the word, and we'll see you at the theater!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

To heck with "New Moon" -- go Troubled Moon with Horrible Movie Night!

Hey cats.

Instead of following the romantic entanglements of some pouty Northwest vampires this weekend, load in to the cryptozoological terror that is "Suburban Sasquatch"! The only thing this beast loves is stomping on people's legs, and roaring like a Shi Tzu in a laundry sack. You, however, will fall in love with the frightening effects, bumbling police officers, and beer-forsaking businessmen that inhabit our stinker this month. You must bear witness!

The good folks at Troubled Moon Films gave the world "Suburban Sasquatch" in 2004, and this Saturday, we bring it you!

Saturday, November 21st, 2009
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038

The seats are filling up fast, so get on the stick and email us to RSVP:

RSVP now to: horriblemovie@pacbell.net

Hope to see you there!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Bigfoot shall rise again (again)!

Damned newfangled technology!

We were skunked for our grand debut of "Suburban Sasquatch" on account of a disfunctional DVD. Y'see what happens when you don't use your trusted VHS format?

HMN always has its parachute packed, and showed our back-up feature, "The Witching" from 1993. How could 64 minutes feel so long? This abysmal outing had a dour James Dean wanna-be (and his nerdy friend channelling Jon Lovitz) find a 400 year-old invocation to an ancient witch in the wall of his (70s-era?) tract home. And how did said witch & her minions enter our plane? Through the refrigerator, of course! As our heroes battled nose-picking demons and poorly-constructed puppets, our HMN audience rose to the occasion, and pepper-sprayed the screen with acidic jibes. Later, the Omelettes improv-ed "The Witching's" casting session to hilarious results. Everyone took turns kicking ass.

So you have another chance to be a part of the astonishing wonder that is "Suburban Sasquatch". To make this viewing extra-special, we will have prizes for the most hilarious riffs of the evening. The prizes are provided by the director himself, Dave Wascavage of Troubled Moon Films! He wishes he could attend our screening, but hopes you all enjoy yourself watching the movie (but assumes no responsibility for cleaning up your remains). Here's a lil' peek at what you have to look forward to (this is not the best part, BTW -- the whole movie is best part):

Saturday, November 21st, 2009
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038

Your ebullient host for the evening is Tom Winkler, of doodie.com fame. The Omelettes will again be on hand to perform last rites for our film, with your help, of course! If you enjoy movie riffing, please pass this invitation along on to any like-minded friends!

RSVP now to: horriblemovie@pacbell.net

There'll be beer, wine, and snacks available for sale -- see how many you can have! Don't forget to join us on Facebook and Twitter. Spread the horrible word! Thanks!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Horrible Movie Night's podcast interview

Hey, folks. The intrepid Alex Roman, who discovers cool and worthwhile people & places in Los Angeles (and hosts a podcast featuring those discoveries), has lowered his standards greatly by devoting his latest show to HMN. Alex wallowed in the muck of bad cinema with us, and uncovered the origins (and future!) of our lil' ol' movie night.

He's a fantastically nice guy, and we thank him very much for asking us to be on his show. Visit his site Living in L.A., or get the podcast from iTunes.

Friday, October 2, 2009

October's Horrible Movie!

Halloween sits at the center of October like the delicious chocolate in a Tootsie Pop. Of course to get there, you have to get through the disgusting and horrifying lollipop part first. This is a lot like Horrible Movie Night.

Before getting to Halloween, allow us to poison your palate with this month's movie selection, "Suburban Sasquatch"! From 2004, this wonderfully atrocious film tells the story of a Bigfoot terrorizing a housing development for encroaching its forest land. On its trail are a reporter (for a newspaper of which he seems to be the only employee), the amazing inept police force, and a mysterious Native American woman who's mighty handy with a bow. You will be agog at the special effects, the spare-no-expense sets, and the massive breasts on the sasquatch. You can't miss this one!

Saturday, October 17th, 2009
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038

As always, our host is the effervescent Tom Winkler, of doodie.com fame. And the always amazing Omelettes will take over the stage halfway through the movie to improv some scenes. Please pass it on to any like-minded friends! RSVP now to: horriblemovienight@pacbell.net

Beer, wine, and snacks, will be available for cheeeeeep. The more you drink, the funnier your comments are.

This month's show is made possible by the good folks at Maxim Media -- check out their legion selection of horror films at their site. And a special thanks to the director, Dave Wascavage of Troubled Moon Films, who has given his blessing to show the film, and hopes we all survive. Visit his site and see his other terrifying films!

Hope to see you at the theater!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Another notch in the cinematic bedpost

"Memorial Valley Massacre" was a clubfooted smash, and our audience came through with killer commentary. Only in a Horrible Movie can you not avoid the slowest runaway bulldozer ever seen on film. Our thanks to everyone that showed up!

We're working on clearing our October movie, and once we do, it'll get you thinking about Halloween -- only the part where you eat too much candy, and barf 'til your uvula looks like a clown nose.

Don't forget to get on our mailing list:horriblemovienight@pacbell.net

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Horrible Movie Night is go!

Oh dear, what are we doing --?

Dare you subject yourself to the pain and horror of the worst movies on the planet? Good -- we'll have company. Join us on our monthly excursions to the unseen depths of moviedom. Our next journey:

"Memorial Valley Massacre"

From 1988, this slasher movie takes place on Memorial Day weekend (we wish there was a "Labor Day Massacre", but alas) at a newly-opened park in the wilderness. The guests are all out of Central Casting, and cover every stereotype in the book -- biker chicks, an ex-military man, a henpecked husband, high school dickweeds, etc. And the killer (don't worry, this is revealed in the first ten minutes) is a CAVEMAN. It goes wonderfully downhill from there.

As always, your host is Tom Winkler, creator of doodie.com, and we'll have halftime improv from the Omelettes!

Saturday, September 19th, 2009
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038

Seats are gonna go fast, so RSVP now to: horriblemovie@pacbell.net

Monday, August 17, 2009

Our first theater show!

Our premiere cinematic 10-car pileup is "The Executioner Part 2" from 1984. There was no Part 1. Classic. It was also filmed without sound, and had the dialogue dubbed in later (even though it was filmed in the US with American actors). One of those actors is Chris Mitchum, son of Robert Mitchum. It's the story of two Vietnam vets whose lives take different paths upon their return -- one becomes a cop, the other becomes a vigilante. It's beautifully awful, with some keen bon mots you'll treasure the rest of the week.

Get on our mailing list at horriblemovie@pacbell.net We'll keep you informed of all our future shows!