Sunday, December 16, 2012

Scream with laughter at "Scream for Help"!

Crappy new year!

We survived the Mayan apocalypse, the fiscal cliff, and the lines for "The Hobbit", so let's salt the wounds with a whole new year of the best worst cinema, that we unendingly endeavor to unearth from their VHS clamshells.  To start 2013 off right, we present 1984's "Scream for Help."

Christy is your average teenager with a not-so average problem -- she's convinced her new stepfather is out to murder both her and her mother.  Her inquisitive mind starts to connect bizarre events in her house, despite little-to-no support from her dipshit friends, and a variety of useless authority figures.  As Christy travels further down the rabbit hole, she becomes an unwitting pawn in a plot by a group of agitated criminals -- until she decides to fight back.

There are afterschool specials, and then there's "Scream for Help", which plays as an after-vocational-school special.  This movie is amazingly inept.  The characters are unintentionally hysterical, and move about the story with all the finesse of electric football.  Time unspools in creatively confusing ways.  Do we really need to see Christy on her bike following her stepfather around three days in a row, losing him at a different point each day AND narrating it all as well?  The answer is yes, says your funny bone.

Surprisingly, one of the brightest stars of this film is the soundtrack.  It was composed & performed by John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin, with guest performances by Jimmy Page, and Jon Anderson of Yes.  Imagine a Casio keyboard going insane, while locked in the coat closet of the dance club from "The Terminator."  It's so bad, it's almost a character in the movie.  It shows up in scenes, makes a ton of noise, and leaves abruptly amidst a trail of debris.  It's stunning.  Also of note, the writer is Tom Holland, who wrote the original "Fright Night", and director Michael Winner did the "Death Wish" series.  But don't expect anything other than a gorgeous disaster here.  You'll love it.

Friday, January 4th, 2013
8PM (Doors 7:30)
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90046
$8 in advance ($10 at the door) 

This movie is not on DVD, so it'll be special evening of bad cinema.  We are also pleased to announce that, after a hiatus for a couple of movies, we welcome the return of sex & nudity!  To that end, this movie is not suitable for anyone under 18 (or anyone without a sense of humor).  

We will have stand-up comedy based on the film & your suggestions.  And we'll have YOU!  You provide the witty commentary during the movie, and you could win a prize.  It's gonna be a hoot and a half.  Make sure to get your tickets in advance, as they are cheaper if you do so.  So do so!  Follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and give a us a like, a follow, and a RT.  See you soon!


Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Too horrible for HMN! Exhibit L -- "Science Crazed"

There's several kinds of bad movies: good bad, boring bad, campy bad, and batshit frickin' insane bad.  Absolutely owning the last category is 1987's "Science Crazed."  It's the story of a scientist experimenting with a growth serum.  After injecting a woman in the hopes of her delivering a full-grown human, said full-grown human escapes the lab and begins a killing spree.  Two of the lab assistants and a cartoonish detective attempt to track down the creature.

If "Eraserhead" was instead made by a high school A/V club with equipment from 1982, you'd still have a ways to go before approaching the level of astonishing ineptitude of this movie.  It's jaw-dropping.  The editing errs on the side of maple syrup, the ADR punches your ears like Tyson, and acting makes you pray the killer hurries the fuck up (spoiler alert: he doesn't).  None of it, unfortunately, in a good bad way.

Consider yourselves warned, but you can view the entire film below.

Stay good bad,


Our next show at NerdMelt is Friday, Jan. 4th -- movie info soon!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Escape the holiday spirit with another secret movie at NerdMelt!

Merry whatever-you-want-to-call-it!

Yearning to get away from the treacle that is corporate Christmas?  Need an outlet for wanting to t-bone the idiots in the Glendale Galleria parking lot?  Then HMN has you covered!  So as not to be reminded of the season, we are presenting a decidedly non-holiday-themed movie for you to set upon like a biKer in a mall full of zombies.  It's yet another of a they'll-kill-us-if-we-advertise-it movie, so we can't tell you what it Is now.  Suffice it to say, you will abSolutely not be disappointed.  This has been in HMN's boot for a long time, waiting to make an appearance like a Wild West Derringer.  But who knows -- there might be a clue as to the starS of this particular disaster in this very paragraph.  It's gonna be awesome.

Saturday, December 8th, 2012
8PM (doors 7:30)
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90046
$8 in advance ($10 at the door)

         We know -- there's holiday parties galore this month!  Our show ends at 10:30, which is the perfect time to show up to that party.  You'll have your funny bone exercised and you'll be the least drunk person in the room.  Win-win, so come join us!

There's limited space under the mistletoe, so grab yourself some ass real estate in advance (at a discount)!  You can also count on the excellent Haroldocity of the mighty Capital T, who will bless us every one with improv based on the flick.  But you, the audience, are the guests of honor, as your witty jibes & japes will propel the lumbering hilariousness that is HMN.  Be the best funny person, and you will walk away with a special holiday prize!

Stalk us on Facebook, hound us on Twitter, and definitely come visit us at NerdMelt on December 8th!

Happy holidaze,


Monday, October 29, 2012

You cannot terminate the "Alienator"!

The holidays are approaching!

Here at HMN, we venerate the real holiday season: Halloween & Thanksgiving.  We're all about spookiness and turkeys.  That said, we are anxious to open the flood gates of awesome with November's cinematic burnt offering, "Alienator."

From legendary & prodigious cult movie director Fred Olen Ray, this 1985 picture has a bit of a split-personality.  The first half takes place on a prison ship cruising through the galaxy.  Jan-Michael Vincent plays the captain (along with P.J. Soles from "Stripes"), who is supervising the execution of the notorious criminal Kol.  Naturally, Kol escapes and high-tails it to Earth, where he enters the second, completely different section of the movie.  Kol runs into a group of drunken college kids, and they are all soon being pursued by an unstoppable female cyborg.  Who is the good guy?  Who is the bad guy?  Who knows?  And ultimately, who cares?

"Alienator" is an ungodly amount of fun.  Jan-Michael Vincent has the helmetest of helmet hair in a thoroughly constipated performance that's amazing to behold.  We also Kol's breathless method acting as he tries to acclimate to Earth's atmosphere.  And let's not forget to mention the female terminator (not to be confused with "Lady Terminator"), whose laser blasts can vaporize a car, but can also be deflected by a trash can lid.  Oh, and she wears golf cart hubcaps on her boobs.

Saturday, November 17th, 2012
8PM (doors 7:30)
NerdMelt Showroom
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90046
$8 in advance ($10 at the door)

We convene once again within the glorious haunches of the bodacious NerdMelt Showroom at Meltdown Comics.  If you get your tickets in advance, you get 'em cheaper than you would at the door, so do it!  There will also be improv at various points during the film, this month from musical improv troupe Love Jet, making their HMN debut.  

But of course, HMN wouldn't be HMN without you!   Your slings and arrows of funny power the engine of the show.  The best one-liners of the night will receive at prize!  So bring some judicious bits o' jokey.  Follow us on Facebook and Twitter, and we'll keep you in the know for future shows and various other bites of bad movieness.

See you soon,


Monday, October 15, 2012

Too horrible for HMN! Exhibit K -- "Attack of the Beast Creatures"

It's another missive featuring the greatest misses of movies we've vetted for HMN.  This edition spotlights 1985's "Attack of the Beast Creatures."

This was a close one -- it's got everything we crave in a good/bad movie: terrible acting, non-existent special effects, awful monsters, and lots of dead space for audience mockery.  The story follows a group of shipwrecked survivors circa 1920 who land on a semi-tropical island (which looks remarkably like South Florida).  Soon after, mysterious and deadly events befall the unfortunate group.  Fresh water intermittently turns into flesh-melting acid, and scores of remarkably inanimate foot-tall monsters attack from the forest to munch on the humans.  The survivors do their best to escape their plight and the island, but are summarily picked off as they fend off the title characters.  It's embarrassing to be killed by evil Troll dolls with G.I. Joe kung-fu grip arm action.

It was just a smidge too slow to unleash upon a discriminating HMN audience.  As much as it is, we have a reputation to uphold.

"Attack of the Beast Creatures" is like "Lost" as experienced through a fogged-up old-timey diving helmet.  You'll feel like you have the bends watching this movie.  That said, here it is in its entirety -- watch only if like wooden acting and wooden puppets.

Our next HMN will be Saturday, November 17th at the fabu NerdMelt Showroom, featuring improv from Love Jet.  Movie info to be declassified soon!



Wednesday, September 19, 2012

It's our 3rd birthday! Come celebrate with a secret movie we've been forbidden to show!

It's Horrible Movie Night's third birthday!  

That's a lot of movies we've riffed, roasted, and summarily eviscerated with you.  Over the years, we've been fortunate to have loyal fans, great improv, and terrific guest actors & directors.  You guys are the best -- damned funny people all.  But of course, we ain't goin' out all sappy Hallmark birthday style.  It's in our DNA to bring the horribleness, especially to a birthday (don't ask what happened at Nana's 78th).

To celebrate, we will be presenting a special secret movie.  Showing this film could quite possibly expose us to lawsuits, public censure, and grevious bodily harm, but it will definitely result in extreme hilarity.  We've dared not show this gobsmackingly hilarious turd up until now, and we promise you'll be glad we did.  Wish we could tell you more -- you simply cannot miss it!

Friday, October 5th, 2012
9PM (doors 8:30)
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90046
$8 in advance ($10 at the door)

Please note that we have a new start time for this show at NerdMelt -- the terror will begin at 9PM.  That gives you a little while extra to weave your way through the truly horrible L.A. traffic.  But do guarantee a seat for yourself by buying a ticket early at the link.  And they're cheaper if you get 'em in advance, so do it!

We will have improv as always, and special birthday gifts to give away for the best one-liners of the night.  We'll be featuring some of HMN's best-of-the-worst moments in the weeks before the show, including some caption contests where you can win a free ticket to the show!  

This is gonna be super epic.  Make sure to keep up with us on Facebook, Twitter, and our email list.  Be there to experience this movie before it rips the roof off your house and eats you whole.



Thursday, September 13, 2012

Save the date! It's HMN's third birthday!

Can you believe it?

Three years is a lot of lousy movies.  We couldn't be happier to have brought you the show for this long.  So from now until October 5th, we'll be featuring some of our favorite moments from our run so far, along with a couple caption contests.  And of course, there will be details for the show at NerdMelt, including about the secret movie we'll be presenting.

Stay tuned via Facebook and Twitter, thanks for being there, and plan on more rotten cinema!


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

To hell with back-to-school -- come celebrate Spring Break with "Nightmare Beach"!

Surf's up, bad movie fans!

If you're like us, then nothing says September like Spring Break!  OK, you're not like us, and that's a good thing because our neighbors don't look us in the eye anymore.  The point is that we've found a lovely lousy movie to make you dream of partying in South Florida on bath salts: 1988's "Nightmare Beach".

Also known as "Welcome to Spring Break", this terrific turd is a slasher flick set against the debaucherous background of Manatee Beach in Ft. Lauderdale.  Diablo, the leader of a violent biker gang, is executed, but not before vowing to return for revenge.  Just as the throngs of college kids arrive in town, Diablo's body disappears from its grave, and people start to show up dead at the hands of a mysterious helmet-clad motorcyclist.  Two college knuckleheads get pulled into the mix, and start their own investigation, running afoul of bikers and cops alike.  Add in a romance with a tough-as-nails bartender chick, and you got yourself a spring sandwich of awesome.

The film was directed by horrormeister Umberto Lenzi, under the pseudonym Harry Kirkpatrick (you wouldn't want to use your real name, either), and stars John Saxon (featured in another nightmare: "Nightmare on Elm Street") as the take-no-shit police chief.  The soundtrack has more heavy metal than a Superfund site, and the acting is as bad as the movie's bikini contests.  "Nightmare Beach" is a wonderful cheesefest.

Thursday, September 6th, 2012
8PM (doors 7:30)
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90046

The film is in English, but perhaps to prevent English speakers to viewing it, there's no English trailer.  The funniest one we could find is in German, so enjoy:

Come escape the heat in NerdMelt's air-conditioned theater, and get your tickets in advance at a discount.  You can even score a free admission to our show if you enter our Horrible Movie Caption contest -- write the funniest caption to a still of this month's movie, and you'll win a free ticket!  Follow us on Facebook and Twitter to keep updated on when the contest begins.

So wax your board (just not in the theater) and join us on Sept. 6th at NerdMelt!

Chug chug chug,


P.S. - Check out the killer theme song Nerf Herder frontman and internet sensation Parry Gripp wrote for us!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

There is no epidural strong enough to endure the labor of "Hercules"!

Ahoy, HMN fans -

For this month's entry into our pantheon of dreck, we seriously contemplated writing only one sentence to entice you to visit with us: "Have you ever seen someone throw a bear into outer space?"  As great as that sentence is (and it does happen in the movie, BTW), we felt we owe to it ourselves to explain the hilarious nightmare that is 1983's "Hercules".

The classic tale of the Greek superman is updated (for 1983 anyway) with a boatload of cheesy special effects, stop-motion animation, and Lou Ferrigno's pulsating muscles.  Instead of twelve labors, this particular Hercules must travel hither and yon at the whim of the gods, mostly in pursuit of the fair Cassiopeia.  In trying to avoid death from both mortal and divine hands, Hercules fights all manner of foes (including mechanical monsters), visits Atlantis AND Hell, and rides an interstellar chariot powered by a rock.

Story is quite secondary in this movie -- maybe thirdly or lastly, actually.  Of much more importance is Lou's heaving pecs, as well as the eternal movie babe Sybil Danning's heaving pecs.  We also have a droning narrator, who takes us from the creation of the universe on through the entirety of the film.  Another highlight is Daedalus, who from her outpost on the moon, shows off small versions of the mechanical monsters she plans to use to doom Hercules -- they are the actual stop-motion models used in the movie.  At one point, another god asks her, "Can you make them bigger?"  And of course, there's that space bear.

Thursday, August 2nd, 2012
8PM (doors 7:30)
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90046
$8 in advance ($10 at the door)

As hot as this movie is, it won't be hot in the newly-air-conditioning-laden NerdMelt Theater.  Get your tickets in advance, and you will receive a discount!  We will also be offering a free ticket to the show in our new Horrible Movie Caption contest -- write the funniest caption to a still of this month's movie, and you'll get in free!  Follow us on Facebook and Twitter to keep updated on when the contest begins.

Those interstellar bears of improv, The Omelettes, will grace the stage once again at HMN, creating scenes based on the movie and your suggestions.  But of course, the star of the evening is you!  Regale us with your funny bon mots and you could win a prize.  BYOB and guarantee you'll be funnier.

Get on our mailing list, get a ticket, and on August 2nd, get in our audience!  See you then!



Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Too horrible for HMN! Exhibit J -- "Without Warning"


Without warning, it's another entry in our too-bad-to-be-horrible files!

There's nothing like a Greydon Clark flick.  We have previous featured his mutant cat on a yacht picture, "Uninvited", at our theater show, so we were stoked to delve into another in his oeuvre, "Without Warning."

It starts out so promising -- HMN favorite Cameron Mitchell and his son (along on a hunting trip to man up) are dispatched by what can only be described as flying pocket pussies with teeth.  Ick.  There is also a teenage David Caruso (minus the sunglasses) acting a fool in 1980s short shorts.  And how can you resist Jack Palance and Martin Landau trying to out-gruff each other?  Believe it -- or not!

Sadly, it's somewhat joyless in its cheese, going through the motions after the halfway point.  There are indeed plenty of fun moments, though -- watch the entire movie below.  Now you are no longer without a warning.

Info on our August 2nd show soon!


Monday, June 18, 2012

"Ghosts Can't Do It" but it's fun to watch 'em try!

Boy howdy, HMNers -

Crappy summer to you all!  While we're sure you are anxiously anticipating barbecuing burgers, our mouths water thinking about grilling some terrible films.  And what better meal to serve up than 1989's "Ghosts Can't Do It".

How can you not have magic when you combine Oscar-winner Anthony Quinn, and 80s icon Bo Derek in a comedy about ghosts?  Quite easily, actually.  When Bo's elderly husband kicks the bucket, he decides he's not done boning her, and appears to her a ghost.  They concoct a plan to find a young host body for his ghost to inhabit, allowing him to continue living with her.  So much for "'Til death do us part."  Bo treks from a snowy Wyoming ranch to a tropical paradise to Hong Kong in her pursuits of maintaining her dead husband's business, and cultivating a corpse for him.

It's stunning this movie was marketed as a romantic comedy.  It would imply it would contain romance, unless your idea of romance is an evil ghost barking orders at a horrified woman in a bikini.  As for comedy, everything funny in "Ghosts Can't Do It" is unintentional.  Bo's "sexy" dance at a seaside bar is laughable, as are the reactions from the priest looking on (what is a priest doing in a tropical bar anyway?).  And every conversation Bo has with Ghost Anthony Quinn (she's the only one who can see/hear him, natch) is off-the-chart wonderful, especially when she's screaming at the sky during his funeral.  Director John Derek brought his requisite misogyny in metric tons, and even bamboozled Julie Newmar to perform in the film (along with a surprise cameo from a former businessman/current reality TV star).

Monday, July 2nd, 2012
8PM (doors 7:30)
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90046
$8 in advance ($10 at the door)

We're launching a full-frontal (pun intended) assault on the weekday -- Monday will never know what hit it.  Our command center will once again be the glorious NerdMelt Theater.  Get your tickets in advance at this link, and you get 'em cheaper than at the door.

Of course, HMN wouldn't be HMN without your riffs!  The funniest one-liner of the night will win a prize, so bring out your best laser-focused jokes to bathe in the glory reserved only for victors.  We'll also have the improv loveliness of The Omelettes, who will create scenes based on the movie, and your suggestions.  BYOB and everything will be extra funny.  Do it!
Keep up with our antics on Facebook, Twitter, and our email list.  We'll also soon be launching our pre-movie caption contest, so those of you who can't attend our L.A. show can get in on the action.  Stay frosty, kids, and we'll see you at the show!



Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Bigfoots and zombies and aliens -- oh my! "Demonwarp" is a hat trick of awesome.

Good eve, HMN fans -

As we settle into our new monthly home at NerdMelt, we are redoubling our efforts to bring you the worst movies/best entertainment that you deserve.  And yes, you deserve it -- you know why.  With that in mind, meet your June bride, a little movie from 1988 called "Demonwarp."

How can such a simple horror movie be so nuanced and sublime?  It can't, really.  But if you like your Bigfoot movies on the stony side, pull up a chair.  A short prologue in the late 1880s (not explained) leads us into Demonwood Forest (also unexplained) circa the late 1980s, where a variety of cliché character types abound.  Among them is Bill Crafton (played by George Kennedy), whose daughter has been spirited away by a Bigfoot, and actively hunts the creature.  Meanwhile, a van full of youngsters has arrived for some surprisingly alcohol-free fun in the woods (what's wrong with these kids?).  Once they run afoul of the creature, they are drawn into Crafton's hunt, and take it to its illogical conclusion.  

To say this movie is a train wreck would be an insult to train wrecks -- so little is explained.  Yet, it enhances the enjoyability and bizarreness.  Zombie wearing a Residents t-shirt?  Check.  George Kennedy wearing two different colored socks?  Check.  A lot of girls wearing nothing above the waist?  Double check.  It's an absolute treat, with one of the stupidest and funniest endings to a movie we've ever survived.  You can't see it on DVD, Netflix, or anywhere else, so let's do this.

Saturday, June 2nd, 2012
8PM (doors 7:30)
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90046
$8 in advance ($10 at the door)

In addition to your hilarious commentary fueling the lulz throughout the evening, our resident improv troupe The Omelettes will take the stage at various points during the show to create scenes based the film (also with your suggestions).  It all culminates in prizes given out for the best one-liners of the night.  Don't you want one of those people to be you?

Get your tickets in advance through the NerdMelt website, and to guarantee yourself a seat.  Keep up with us on our various online portals: Facebook, Twitter, and our email list.  BYOB to the show as well, cuz we know you're funnier with a brown bag in your hand.  No, really.

See you at the show!

Most Bigfootily yours,


Monday, April 30, 2012

We get the cast of "Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid" to explain themselves --

Hello, HMN pals -

Our pythons feel mega whenever we get cast members of the movies we present to appear on stage at our show.  Last November, our roast of "Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid" included actors Bobby Ray Shafer (his second appearance at HMN), Kevin Horton, and Kai Lyman.  They were funny, gracious, and awesome, and even helped sing "Happy Birthday" to one our audience members.

Bask in their greatness in the video below.  Bask, we tell you!

See you back at NerdMelt on June 2nd.


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Too horrible for HMN! Exhibit I - "2019 - After the Fall of New York"

What an evocative title!  

Who doesn't want to see what happens when New York falls (probably after walking across Broadway while texting)?  In reality, like New York itself, 1983's "2019 - After the Fall of New York" is a mixed bag.  A good deal of it is wonderfully hamhanded -- the other good deal is rather dull.  It trods in the footsteps of "Mad Max" and "Escape from New York" by its hero (employed by one of two warring government factions) infiltrating the remains of NYC to find the last remaining fertile woman on Earth.

The special effects are so bad, they're kinda cute.  You almost want to go "awwww", like seeing your little nephew trying his hardest on the school science project.  Any of the sci-fi stuff is worth your time -- all of the NYC stuff is worth suing the studio.  Big Ape, who appears without explanation as the leader of an unexplained group of apemen, is a particular highlight.  But we can't can't explain why.

Watch the whole movie below, if you dare!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

HMN crash-lands at NerdMelt with "Alien Private Eye"!

An atrocious April is approaching!

We're looking forward to drop our latest movie bomb, which will be more taxing than H & R Block.  In our search low & lower for the worst movies on the planet, we've found the perfect specimen to inflict upon you for this month -- 1987's "Alien Private Eye".

Hailing from the planet Styx, private detective Lemro (played by former Chippendales dancer Nikki Fastinetti) has since set up shop here on Earth.  As with most private dicks, trouble finds him.  Soon, he's caught in the middle of a great deal of violence surrounding a mysterious disc (which kinds looks like an old ZZ Top CD).  Lemro must find the disc, save his new Earth girlfriend, and keep both Styx and Earth from being destroyed.

We fell for this movie hard.  Lemro's sartorial style would've embarrassed even Corey Feldman during his Michael Jackson years.  There's lots of big hair, big hats, and big dumb action.  The villain, Kilgore, hides poison in a false tooth, while he hooks Earthlings on an outer space drug.  Add some kung-fu, bad accents, and 80s dancing, and you have movie memories that'll last you a lifetime (which you may want to hire Lacuna Inc. to scrub from your mind).

Saturday, April 14th, 2012
8PM (doors 7:45)
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90046
$8 in advance ($10 at the door)

April's show also marks HMN's debut appearance and the formidable NerdMelt Theater at Meltdown Comics!  If you've been lucky enough to see any show here, you know how great a venue it is.  Pick up your tickets in advance at this link so you don't miss out.  Make sure to tell 'em how much you like HMN so we can be a regular thang!  

Speaking of regular thangs, our dear Omelettes will provide improv based on the movie at various points during the show.  And we can't have HMN without you!  When you provide us with commentary during the movie, you may be in line for a prize, which we give out for the best one-liners.  Yes, it's the one movie show where you won't be thrown out for yelling during the film.

Stay in touch with us on Facebook, Twitter, and via our email list, for the scoop on all the movies that should not be.  Get your tickets, and get on down to see us -- we got horrible laughs with your name on them!



Thursday, February 23, 2012

Too horrible for HMN! Exhibit H - "Strike Commando"

Ah, yes --

The long line of "Rambo" rip-offs of the late 80s seems to have no end.  The success of the franchise, paired with the booming VHS market, created a perfect storm of crummy movies.  Among the more entertaining is Bruno Mattei's "Strike Commando".  This by-the-numbers Vietnam War stinker from 1987 stars Reb Brown (once TV's Captain America) as Sgt. Michael Ransom, yet another highly-trained grunt fucked over by his commanding officers, seeking revenge.

We really wanted to like this one.  It's mostly pokey and dull, but has moments of horrible brilliance.  Sgt. Ransom dazzles a village boy with flowery descriptions of Disneyland, promising to take him after the war.  Of course, the kid doesn't last, making for a hilarious death scene.


Friday, February 17, 2012

Horrible Movie Night is becoming even more horrible.

Hiya, HMN loyalists!

There'll be some exciting shows coming up, and it's time to apprise you of the scoop.

On April 14th, we will appear at the mighty NerdMelt Theater at Meltdown Comics!  NerdMelt is THE destination for underground comedy in L.A., brought to you by the juggernaut that is the Nerdist. Ticket and movie info very soon.

Thanks for sticking with HMN, and if you have yet to join us for the ridiculously horrible fun of our show, it's high time to come on down!  Lots more details soon.



Thursday, February 9, 2012

What's an evening at Horrible Movie Night like --?

Hello again, HMNers -

As we take February off to explore new & dangerous avenues for the show, allow us to present a short documentary by Josef Nemcik about Horrible Movie Night.  This was taken the night of our lovely roast of the shlocky bite-fest, "Project Vampire".  We reunited the cast (most of them hadn't seen each other since 1993) to talk about the film, and share some truly great stories.

There is improv based on the film from the omnipotent Omelettes.  They tear the stage up from the audience's suggestions.  We hope you dig it!

We will be back in a theater near you soon -- there's some exciting news coming down the pike, and once we finalize everything, you'll be the first to know (yes, YOU).  Join us on Facebook and Twitter to keep even further up-to-date.  And we're always curious to hear your suggestions for future HMN movies -- bomb up our wall!



Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Talk about a train wreck! HMN takes on "Night Train to Terror"!

Crappy new year, y'all!

With so many wonderful things to look forward to in 2012 (Mayan apocalypse, presidential election -- wait, are they the same thing?), it is our bound duty to provide you succor in the form of the worst movies on the planet.  Allow us to start the year off wrong with the anthemic anthology, 1985's "Night Train to Terror".

Not unlike "Creepshow" or "Cat's Eye" in format, "Night Train to Terror" offers three cautionary tales of horror.  But unlike the aforementioned films, this movie is like a Jamba Juice of horrifying ingredients and putrefying infusions -- in other words, a Jamba Juice.  The frame story takes place on a train, and has God and Satan (and, inexplicably, an 80s synth rock band busted out in full song) bargaining for recently departed human souls.  To illustrate their debate, the lives of each of the three people are played out through the train car's window.  As you might expect, each person's life is chock-full of dramatic horror and bizarre situations (mental institution, a "death club", etc.).

"Night Train to Terror" was cut together from three other movies, "Cataclysm", "Carnival of Fools", and "Scream Your Head Off", the latter having never been completed.  The final product is so impossibly disjointed, and hilariously so.  This one has it all -- stop-motion puppets, exploding heads, shirtless fights, and abuse of popcorn.  Two of the sequences star Richard Moll, of "Night Court" fame, in two very disparate roles.  Also starring is Cameron Mitchell, one of our favorite actors who's appeared in previous HMN films, "Memorial Valley Massacre", "Deadly Prey", and "Terror in Beverly Hills".  "Night Train to Terror" is a real rollercoaster, and thankfully it never lets up, even after you barf and lose all the change in your pockets.  Here's the trailer (NSFW, on account of boobs):

Saturday, January 21st, 2012
8PM (Doors 7:15PM)
6468 Santa Monica Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90038

Tickets are on sale now now now -- click at this link, or on the image below to purchase.  For this performance, we have moved to the East Theater -- still part of the Complex, just two doors down from the lobby entrance.

As always, the fine folks that are The Omelettes will provide scathing improv & laughitude during the evening.  But of course, the real star of HMN is you!  The machine of HMN is powered by your hilarious comments throughout the evening -- do it superatively, and you can walk home with a prize (and yes, we make you walk home).

Don't forget to join us on Facebook, TwitterGoogle, and our mailing list -- you'll stay informed on what's awful cinematically.  Hope to see you at the theater!

Toot toot,