Bigfoots and zombies and aliens -- oh my! "Demonwarp" is a hat trick of awesome.

Good eve, HMN fans -

As we settle into our new monthly home at NerdMelt, we are redoubling our efforts to bring you the worst movies/best entertainment that you deserve.  And yes, you deserve it -- you know why.  With that in mind, meet your June bride, a little movie from 1988 called "Demonwarp."

How can such a simple horror movie be so nuanced and sublime?  It can't, really.  But if you like your Bigfoot movies on the stony side, pull up a chair.  A short prologue in the late 1880s (not explained) leads us into Demonwood Forest (also unexplained) circa the late 1980s, where a variety of cliché character types abound.  Among them is Bill Crafton (played by George Kennedy), whose daughter has been spirited away by a Bigfoot, and actively hunts the creature.  Meanwhile, a van full of youngsters has arrived for some surprisingly alcohol-free fun in the woods (what's wrong with these kids?).  Once they run afoul of the creature, they are drawn into Crafton's hunt, and take it to its illogical conclusion.  

To say this movie is a train wreck would be an insult to train wrecks -- so little is explained.  Yet, it enhances the enjoyability and bizarreness.  Zombie wearing a Residents t-shirt?  Check.  George Kennedy wearing two different colored socks?  Check.  A lot of girls wearing nothing above the waist?  Double check.  It's an absolute treat, with one of the stupidest and funniest endings to a movie we've ever survived.  You can't see it on DVD, Netflix, or anywhere else, so let's do this.

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Saturday, June 2nd, 2012

8PM (doors 7:30)

NerdMelt Theater

7522 Sunset Blvd.

Hollywood, Calif., 90046

$8 in advance ($10 at the door)

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In addition to your hilarious commentary fueling the lulz throughout the evening, our resident improv troupe The Omelettes will take the stage at various points during the show to create scenes based the film (also with your suggestions).  It all culminates in prizes given out for the best one-liners of the night.  Don't you want one of those people to be you?

Get your tickets in advance through the NerdMelt website, and to guarantee yourself a seat.  Keep up with us on our various online portals: Facebook, Twitter, and our email list.  BYOB to the show as well, cuz we know you're funnier with a brown bag in your hand.  No, really.

See you at the show!

Most Bigfootily yours,

HMN

We get the cast of "Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid" to explain themselves --

Hello, HMN pals -

Our pythons feel mega whenever we get cast members of the movies we present to appear on stage at our show.  Last November, our roast of "Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid" included actors Bobby Ray Shafer (his second appearance at HMN), Kevin Horton, and Kai Lyman.  They were funny, gracious, and awesome, and even helped sing "Happy Birthday" to one our audience members.

Bask in their greatness in the video below.  Bask, we tell you!

See you back at NerdMelt on June 2nd.

HMN

Too horrible for HMN! Exhibit I - "2019 - After the Fall of New York"

What an evocative title!  

Who doesn't want to see what happens when New York falls (probably after walking across Broadway while texting)?  In reality, like New York itself, 1983's "2019 - After the Fall of New York" is a mixed bag.  A good deal of it is wonderfully hamhanded -- the other good deal is rather dull.  It trods in the footsteps of "Mad Max" and "Escape from New York" by its hero (employed by one of two warring government factions) infiltrating the remains of NYC to find the last remaining fertile woman on Earth.

The special effects are so bad, they're kinda cute.  You almost want to go "awwww", like seeing your little nephew trying his hardest on the school science project.  Any of the sci-fi stuff is worth your time -- all of the NYC stuff is worth suing the studio.  Big Ape, who appears without explanation as the leader of an unexplained group of apemen, is a particular highlight.  But we can't can't explain why.

Watch the whole movie below, if you dare!

HMN crash-lands at NerdMelt with "Alien Private Eye"!

An atrocious April is approaching!

We're looking forward to drop our latest movie bomb, which will be more taxing than H & R Block.  In our search low & lower for the worst movies on the planet, we've found the perfect specimen to inflict upon you for this month -- 1987's "Alien Private Eye".

Hailing from the planet Styx, private detective Lemro (played by former Chippendales dancer Nikki Fastinetti) has since set up shop here on Earth.  As with most private dicks, trouble finds him.  Soon, he's caught in the middle of a great deal of violence surrounding a mysterious disc (which kinds looks like an old ZZ Top CD).  Lemro must find the disc, save his new Earth girlfriend, and keep both Styx and Earth from being destroyed.

We fell for this movie hard.  Lemro's sartorial style would've embarrassed even Corey Feldman during his Michael Jackson years.  There's lots of big hair, big hats, and big dumb action.  The villain, Kilgore, hides poison in a false tooth, while he hooks Earthlings on an outer space drug.  Add some kung-fu, bad accents, and 80s dancing, and you have movie memories that'll last you a lifetime (which you may want to hire Lacuna Inc. to scrub from your mind).

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Saturday, April 14th, 2012

8PM (doors 7:45)

NerdMelt Theater

7522 Sunset Blvd.

Hollywood, Calif., 90046

$8 in advance ($10 at the door)

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April's show also marks HMN's debut appearance and the formidable NerdMelt Theater at Meltdown Comics!  If you've been lucky enough to see any show here, you know how great a venue it is.  Pick up your tickets in advance at this link so you don't miss out.  Make sure to tell 'em how much you like HMN so we can be a regular thang!  

Speaking of regular thangs, our dear Omelettes will provide improv based on the movie at various points during the show.  And we can't have HMN without you!  When you provide us with commentary during the movie, you may be in line for a prize, which we give out for the best one-liners.  Yes, it's the one movie show where you won't be thrown out for yelling during the film.

Stay in touch with us on Facebook, Twitter, and via our email list, for the scoop on all the movies that should not be.  Get your tickets, and get on down to see us -- we got horrible laughs with your name on them!

L,

HMN

Too horrible for HMN! Exhibit H - "Strike Commando"

Ah, yes --

The long line of "Rambo" rip-offs of the late 80s seems to have no end.  The success of the franchise, paired with the booming VHS market, created a perfect storm of crummy movies.  Among the more entertaining is Bruno Mattei's "Strike Commando".  This by-the-numbers Vietnam War stinker from 1987 stars Reb Brown (once TV's Captain America) as Sgt. Michael Ransom, yet another highly-trained grunt fucked over by his commanding officers, seeking revenge.

We really wanted to like this one.  It's mostly pokey and dull, but has moments of horrible brilliance.  Sgt. Ransom dazzles a village boy with flowery descriptions of Disneyland, promising to take him after the war.  Of course, the kid doesn't last, making for a hilarious death scene.

Enjoy!

Horrible Movie Night is becoming even more horrible.

Hiya, HMN loyalists!

There'll be some exciting shows coming up, and it's time to apprise you of the scoop.

On April 14th, we will appear at the mighty NerdMelt Theater at Meltdown Comics!  NerdMelt is THE destination for underground comedy in L.A., brought to you by the juggernaut that is the Nerdist. Ticket and movie info very soon.

Thanks for sticking with HMN, and if you have yet to join us for the ridiculously horrible fun of our show, it's high time to come on down!  Lots more details soon.

Horribly,

HMN

What's an evening at Horrible Movie Night like --?

Hello again, HMNers -

As we take February off to explore new & dangerous avenues for the show, allow us to present a short documentary by Josef Nemcik about Horrible Movie Night.  This was taken the night of our lovely roast of the shlocky bite-fest, "Project Vampire".  We reunited the cast (most of them hadn't seen each other since 1993) to talk about the film, and share some truly great stories.

There is improv based on the film from the omnipotent Omelettes.  They tear the stage up from the audience's suggestions.  We hope you dig it!

We will be back in a theater near you soon -- there's some exciting news coming down the pike, and once we finalize everything, you'll be the first to know (yes, YOU).  Join us on Facebook and Twitter to keep even further up-to-date.  And we're always curious to hear your suggestions for future HMN movies -- bomb up our wall!

Soon,

HMN