Friday, April 4, 2014

Choose to accept the "LASER MISSION"!

Zap!

That's the sound of April's HMN selection arriving in your face.  All the way from 1989, it's "Laser Mission."

Brandon Lee (son of kung-fu legend Bruce Lee) stars as CIA operative Michael Gold, tasked with bringing a laser scientist (played by Ernest Borgnine, who sports a vague and ridiculous eastern European accent) back to the US from Cuba.  At least we think it's Cuba, as we suddenly are in Africa about a quarter into the movie.  Once the scientist is kidnapped, Michael teams up with the scientist's daughter (Debi Monahan).  Much exploding and bulleting ensues.  Add in some time-travelled Nazis, and a bumbling pair of KGB agents, and you got enough bad cinema to eat for weeks.

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Friday, April 18, 2014
9PM (doors 8:30)
NerdMelt Showroom
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif. 90046
Tickets: $8 in advance ($10 at the door)
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FRIDAY!  Once again, we are roasting on a Friday, so don't show up on Saturday -- you will receive no laser mission.  Advance tickets are cheap, so grab some at the link above.

We will be welcoming some excellent stand-up from HOWARD KREMER (Who Charted? podcast, Dragon Boy Suede), and BRANDON WARDELL (The Meltdown Show).  As always, there will be free popcorn!  And there will also be prizes -- if you're one of the funniest folks who gives us a killer one-liner during the movie.  We are a people-powered show.

Hit us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and our NEW email list.  Get your tickets early, arrive early to get a good seat, and we'll zzzzee you at the show!

Zap,

HMN

Friday, February 28, 2014

Get abducted by "VOYAGE OF THE ROCK ALIENS" with guest cast appearances!


What's that in the sky --?

Don't call Art Bell, it's just March's HMN!  This month, we voyage back to 1984 for the sci-fi musical comedy, "Voyage of the Rock Aliens."

This one is a doozy.  Set in a 1950s/1980s mashup time period, we follow a band of aliens searching the universe for the origin of rock n' roll.  They find it on Earth, along with the singing & dancing phenom Dee Dee (Pia Zadora).  Trouble brews when the plucky musical aliens cross paths with Dee Dee's boyfriend Frankie (Craig Sheffer) and his band The Pack.  Add in some clueless cops, a mutant octopus, escaped mental patients, and a tractor suddenly appearing on a beach, and you've got one of the weirdest movie experiences we've ever seen.























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FRIDAY, March 14th, 2014
9PM (Doors 8:30)
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif. 90046
Tickets: $8. in advance ($10. at the door)
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FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY, folks!  We normally have our show on Saturdays, but we are doing it on Friday in March & April, so make a note of it.  Advance tickets are on sale right now at the link above.  Don't space out and miss saving some money.

We're pleased to welcome special guest cast members (to be announced) who will appear at the show for Q&A after the movie.  Joining us to perform stand-up is the most excellent KYLE KINANE (Comedy Central, Whiskey Icarus).  And you could win a special prize if youse's the funniest cleverest type person, and hits us with a top-five riff on the movie.  And there's free popcorn!

Find us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and our new email list (get on it!).

Watch the skies,

HMN

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Never mind being mugged on the subway, watch out for being eaten by C.H.U.D.!

Merry February -

Every month we dig deep in the crates to bring you the best in the worst cinema. This month, we dig deep underground to bring you the 30th anniversary of "C.H.U.D."!

A 1984 cautionary (and newly relevant) tale of nuclear waste, homelessness, and fashion photography, C.H.U.D. stars John Heard (Sharknado 4eva FTW) and Daniel Stern as two concerned New Yorkers battling back against monsters lurking in the subway system.  When that lurking turns into people being eaten, the guys go on the attack, fighting not only the mutant cannibals, but a government agency desperate to hide a dark secret. It's C.H.U.D.-tastic!


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Saturday, February 8th, 2014
9PM (Doors 8:30)
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif. 90046
Tickets: $8. in advance ($10. at the door)
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Joining us a special co-host this month is JAY THOMAS (Sirius XM's The Jay Thomas Show, Murphy Brown, Cheers), who acted in the movie, alongside a young John Goodman.  Jay is a raconteur extraordinaire, and 
a hilarious guy -- it'll amplify an already great evening. 

Tickets are on sale now!  Get yours at a discount if you buy in advance at the link above.  As always, your funny one-liners power the show. Be the best, and you'll stroll back home through the sewers with a prize. All that, great stand-up comedy, and free popcorn?  What are you waiting for?

Hit us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and at our email list. Come ready to roast, and we'll see you there!

Yours in C.H.U.D.itutde,

HMN


Friday, January 3, 2014

Let "REPO JAKE" take you away!

Crappy new year!

Thus begins another marker in time of the unending parade of terrible, hilarious cinema.  We're happy to have you along for the ride.  Speaking of rides, make sure you're up-to-date with your payments, or you'll get a visit from "REPO JAKE"!

This 1990 direct-to-video stars Grizzly Adams -- er, Dan Haggerty as an ex-marine looking to restart his life in the quiet, laconic town of Los Angeles.  Great choice, Jake.  Just like the choice of becoming a repo man.  Almost immediately, Jake becomes embroiled with the Mob, the porn industry, demolition derby, and awkward dinners with his beautiful neighbor.  Action ensues and the bad guys' asses are repossesed!

It's a can't-look-away stir fry of bizarre acting, misplaced rap songs, crummy editing & lighting, and Dan Haggerty.  Total gas.







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Saturday, January 18th, 2014
9PM (Doors 8:30)
NerdMelt Showroom
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif. 90046
Tickets: $8. in advance ($10. at the door)
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Get advance tickets now at the link, and you'll start the new year off right by saving money.  It's gonna be a killer night of great stand-up, special guests, free popcorn, and the new HMN t-shirts now on sale!  Be the funniest person/persons in the theater, and you will win a special prize for the walk home (because your car has been repo'ed).

It's gonna be great!  We're looking forward to seeing more of you in 2014 -- maybe someday we can move in together.  Until then, hover around us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and our mailing list.  See you soon!

Honk honk,

HMN

Friday, December 6, 2013

This Christmas, get run over by a reindeer in "SANTA'S SLAY"!

Ho ho ho, HMN faithful -

Like snow through the hourglass, December is suddenly upon us.  Take a break from shouldering fellow mall patrons and hate-tweeting large corporations, and treat yourself to an early present -- "Santa's Slay"!

This 2005 holiday romp posits Santa not as a jolly gift-giver, but as a murderous maniac, the result of being the offspring of Satan.  It turns out giving presents was a thousand-year punishment for Santa.  Now that his obligation is fulfilled, the killing can begin anew.  But a boy and his grandpa still believe, and do everything they can to take him out like a Black Friday shopper.

It's wildly naughty fun.  There's great cameos from Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan, and James Caan.  Expect frightening reindeer, exploding presents, and a lot more red than green.





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Saturday, December 21, 2013
9PM (Doors 8:30)
NerdMelt Showroom
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif. 90046
Tickets: $8. in advance ($10. at the door)
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Get your tickets now at a discount -- we can be that awesome thing you do in L.A. before heading out of town, or just the beginning of a Hollywood Yule, where you own the mercifully traffic-less streets.  In either case, come early to our show and shop for some excellent last-minute gifts at Meltdown Comics.

As always, you can expect hilarious riffs, great stand-up (this month from Erik Charles Neilsen [Community, Conan]), and free popcorn!

And new this month are the Horrible Movie Night t-shirts, fresh from the printer!  They will be on sale at the show for the insane low price of $12.

Hit us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and our mailing list.  We have some killer stuff on tap for 2014 -- you gotta ride along with us!  We look forward to watching "Santa's Slay" roasting on an open fire.

Crappy holidays!

HMN

Friday, November 1, 2013

C.H.O.M.P.S. is a dog of a robot dog movie! Come roast it with guest co-host BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT!

Is it November already?

It seems like October was just yesterday.  To wit, we will feature yesterday's view of tomorrow next week at our screening & roast of "C.H.O.M.P.S."!

The titular star of this 1979 film is a robot dog specially designed to fight crime (we may be Horrible Movie Night, but we could not bring ourselves to write "take a bite out of crime").  The inventor (Wesley Eure) & his girlfriend (Valerie Bertinelli) attempt to keep the metallic mutt out of the hands of a rival company, and its wacky henchmen.



We are very pleased to welcome as this month's co-host, actor/writer/director BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT, who will join us onstage to present and further roast the movie.  Also joining us as special guests are star WESLEY EURE (Land of the Lost, Finders Keepers), and, to lend some cinematic legitimacy to the proceedings, legendary film critic BILL HARRIS (At the Movies)!  It's a stellar lineup that you cannot miss!



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Saturday, November 9th 2013
9PM (Doors 8:30)
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif 90046
Tickets: $8. in advance ($10. at the door)
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Grab your tickets now in advance at a discount.  As always, the best riffs of the evening will win special prizes.  As if all that is not enough, we will also have killer standup from DOMINIC DIERKES (Workaholics, Weeds).  And FREE POPCORN! 


FacebookTwitterInstagramEmail list.  Do it.  See you soon!

HMN

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

This October, get pricked by Corey Feldman in "VOODOO"!

Happy kinda-almost-not-really-yet Halloween!

Huge thanks and welcome to all our new fans who made September's roast of "Sharknado" such a screaming success.  We're stoked to have you onboard for another outing into the waters of bad cinema.  For October, allow yourself to rushed into pledging allegience to 1995's "Voodoo".

Corey Feldman stars as Andy, who wants to be closer to his girlfriend when she enrolls in college, so he joins a very strange fraternity on campus.  A lot of dead bodies later, it seems his frat brothers are up to some occult shenanigans, and may not be -- well, alive. 

The movie also stars Jack Nance (Twin Peaks, Eraserhead, that Suicidal Tendencies video), and Sarah Douglas, who was Ursa in "Superman II".  It's also got voodoo dolls, elongated tongues, ritual sacrifices, and the long-awaited return to HMN of -- boobs.



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Saturday, October 12th, 2013
9PM (Doors 8:30)
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif 90046
Tickets: $8. in advance ($10 at the door)
ages 16+
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Make sure to grab tickets in advance to guarantee yourself a cheaper price, and a great seat (although any seat with you in it is a great seat).  And don't forget to bring your funny, cuz the best riffs of the evening will win prizes!  Speaking of funny, we will feature comedy from some of the best stand-ups in town to help roast the movie even further.


Get down with all of our horrible day-to-day activities by following us on our various & sundry portals: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and our email list.  You'll be glad you did.  Reserve yourself some horrible seats, and come to the show, or we'll tickle your custom-made Etsy voodoo doll until you do.


Luff,


HMN