Tuesday, December 2, 2014

"THE CHRISTMAS MARTIAN" is gonna come down your chimney!

Crappy holidaze!

It's time for HMN's holiday figgy pudding with the 1971 kids movie, "The Christmas Martian"!

In this wonderfully & laughably dubbed French-Canadian movie, a Martian lands his UFO in a snowy town.  He is discovered by two kids, whom he quickly befriends by covering them with off-brand M&Ms (not joking).  He proceeds to help them learn to fly with a giant matchstick (again, not joking).  Eventually, the townsfolk get all pitchforky about the interloper, and decide to eradicate him.  Can the kids save their new interplanetary friend?  Here's a clip:



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Saturday, December 13th, 2014
9PM (doors 8:30)
NerdMelt Showroom
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif. 90046
Tickets: $8. in advance ($10. at the door)
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Tickets in advance are cheaper than stocking stuffers, so get on that.  We'd love to see & hear you roast this holiday turkey -- there's always prizes for the best one-liners of the evening.  We also have stand-up from TONY SAM and RICKY CARMONA!  It's gonna be great.

Get tickets now, and follow us on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and via our mailing list.  Happy everything!

HMN

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Roll up a fat one with "MR. NO LEGS"!

HMNers!

Welcome back to another edition of roasting ridiculous movies!  We have a great one on tap for you this month, going all the way back to 1979 with the amazing insanity of "Mr. No Legs"!

The aforementioned Mr. No is an enforcer for a drug kingpin, and surprisingly good at his job.  In addition to being a kung fu master and a seriously bad dude, he has stainless steel shotguns built into his wheelchair.  When the relative of a police officer dies at the hands of one of the drug operation's flunkies, an investigation begins.  The noose tightens on the drug kingpin, and Mr. No Legs finds himself with shifting priorities.

Not on DVD or Netflix (or even VHS, really), this movie's got it all.  Looking for legless kung fu kicks, bar room brawls, atrophied strip clubs, and someone attacking a Corvette with a sword?  Mr. No Legs has got you covered.


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Saturday, November 8th 2014
9PM (Doors 8:30)
NerdMelt Showroom
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif. 90046
Tickets: $8. in advance ($10. at the door)
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Tickets are cheaper in advance, so get on that!  Our show is audience-powered!  Come down to the show, yell out your funniest one-liners, and you could win a prize.  We will also feature stand-up from MOSES STORM, cheap snacks & drinks, and free popcorn!  I mean, come on!

Find us/spread the gospel via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and our mailing list.  Get your tickets, and we'll look forward to seeing you roll in to the show!

HMN

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Go seek "HIDER IN THE HOUSE", starring Gary Busey!


Ready or not, here we come!

Thanks to everyone that showed up for our big 5th anniversary show!  We're so stoked to be able to bring these cinematic atrocities to you for so long.  If you haven't been down to a show yet, who better to entice you than the force of nature that is Gary Busey, starring in 1989's "Hider In the House"!  Let's roast!

Gary plays a deranged man who camps out in the attic of a house belonging to a young family, and develops a creepy (is there any other kind?) attachment to them, with deadly results.  To give you an approximation as to the level of ridiculousness in the movie, we need only point you towards the movie poster.  "He's already in" is the tagline, when he is clearly outside.  Thank you again for all you do, windows.


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Saturday, October 11th, 2014
9PM (doors 8:30)
NerdMelt Showroom
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90046
Tickets: $8. in advance ($10. at the door)
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Grab your tickets now at the link above, then come down and be funny!  You could walk home with a prize, and also walk home with the respect that comes with walking home with a prize.  There will be great stand-up comedy from KATIE CROWN, and ANDREW MICHAAN, plus free popcorn!

Stay tuned with us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, as we will be having caption contests soon where you can win free tickets to the show.  We'll look forward to having you guys in the house.

Boo,

HMN

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Celebrate HMN's 5th anniversary with SHARKNADO 2!

Batten down the hatches -

We're having a birthday!  We couldn't think of a better way to celebrate our fifth anniversary than to team up with our pals at The Asylum to bring you our roast of the already-classic "Sharknado 2"!

Fin & April are back, along with new characters, and a gang of celebrity cameos.  The sharks will fly, the chainsaws will slice, and the fun will be brought.

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Saturday, Sept. 6, 2014
9PM (Doors 8:30)
NerdMelt Showroom
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif. 90046
Tickets: $10
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This is going to be a very special night, so you gotta gotta gotta get your tickets early, or you will miss out!  We will have special guests from the movie (to be announced), swag from The Asylum, and birthday presents from us to you.  There will be stand-up from comedian and Sharknado expert DAN TELFER (@midnight, The Onion), plus free popcorn.

That's all in addition to the HMN prizes for the best one-liners of the evening.  You could be a winner if you come ready to roast, and you're a funny mofo.  Get all up in our social media at Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and on our email list.

Let's do this, people -- get tickets right now!

Buzzzzz,

HMN

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

You can't "BAIL OUT" of the Hoff --

OK, you guys -

The dog days of summer are here, but the dog days are every days for us at HMN as we spend every waking moment searching for that next big bad movie.  Courtesy of the local swap meet, we've just adopted our pooch for August.  Come sniff the butt of 1989's "Bail Out"!

Hasselhoff!  Let's just get that out of the way right off.  Alternately titled, "W.B., Blue, and the Bean", this direct-to-video stinker has the Hoff as part of team of wise-cracking bounty hunters.  They are assigned by their sleazy boss to protect a witness (Linda Blair from "The Exorcist") and make sure she gets to the trial.  Of course, when the Hoff and his buddies insinuate themselves into the situation, things take a turn for the shooty and explodey.  Hasselhoff!  It's wonderfully fine cheese, and quite possibly the most unabashedly racist movie we've ever seen.



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Saturday, August 9th, 2014
9PM (doors 8:30)
NerdMelt Showroom
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90046
Tickets: $8. in advance ($10. at the door)
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You know the drill by now -- show up to the theater, yell out your best one-liners at the movie, and you could win a prize if we judge your jokes the best of the evening.  We will also have stand-up from from JOHNNY PEMBERTON (21 & 22 Jump Street, The Kroll Show) & MO WELCH (The Mo Show, Larry Bird Variety Hour)!  NerdMelt was voted best comedy club of 2013 by the LA Weekly, y'know.  Plus free popcorn!  Get those tickets now on the cheap.

Spread the word among all your MST3K/RiffTrax pals, and come live-mock in person!  And get on our email list, while you're at it.  See you at the show!

Hasselhoff!

HMN

Friday, June 27, 2014

Poke poke poke -- let us incite you to see "PROVOKED", starring Americana from G.L.O.W.!

Happy summer!

We have been thrilled with all of our new fans, and the raucous fun shows at NerdMelt.  You gotta come join us!  C'mon.  C'mon.  C'MON!  Do you suddenly feel -- "Provoked"?

Americana from the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (as Cindy Maranne) stars in this bizarre and hilarious actioner from 1989.  Casey and her new husband are off on their honeymoon, but have to stop by the payroll company where they work to pick something up.  At the same time, a gang of criminals (led by the wonderfully terrible Big Mama) arrive to rob the place.  Thus begins a hostage drama, complete with random violence, ridiculous demands to the TV news, and the worst pizza delivery ever.  It's like "Die Hard", if it was written by a Willy Water Bug sprinkler.

The movie is so VHS that it doesn't even have a trailer, so here's a clip to provoke you:



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Saturday, July 12th, 2014
9PM (Doors 8:30)
NerdMelt Showroom
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90046
Tickets: $8 in advance ($10 at the door)
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Our show has audience power!  This means you mock the movie, and the best one-liners from the evening win prizes.  We will also have some of L.A.'s best stand-up comedy as various points during the show.  All this along with free popcorn!  Get your tickets now!

Follow us in all usual places:  Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and get on our email list, too.  See you at the show, right?  Right?  Right?  Right?  Right?  Right?

HMN

Friday, May 30, 2014

Start your descent into the volcanic area -- it's "AIRPLANE VS. VOLCANO" with cast & crew!

Kaboom!

Happy June, bad movie mockers!  Since volcano season almost upon us, we've decided to get in the spirit with a brand new movie, 2014's "Airplane Vs. Volcano"!

We weren't exactly sure how this movie wouldn't have a running time of approximately 2 & 1/2 minutes.  Thankfully it's doesn't, and instead is chock full of wild, insane, wonderful, nonsense.  It stars Dean Cain, Robin Givens, and Boom Boom Washington from "Welcome Back, Kotter."  And don't forget the volcano!  It also stars a volcano.

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Saturday, June 14th, 2014
9PM (Doors 8:30)
NerdMelt Showroom
7522 Sunset Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif 90046
Tickets: $8 in advance ($10 at the door)
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This is going to an explosive evening -- grab your tickets now now now before they sell out.  We are chuffed to bits to welcome special guests for the evening: writers/directors the Kondelik Brothers, and star Ryan Budds!  They will be onstage with us for a Q&A, so prepare some Qs to be Aed.  For the best one-liners of the evening, there will be special prizes courtesy of The Asylum, producers of the movie, and many others from our show).  As always, the best in L.A. stand-up will perform at our show as well.  Hot like lava.

Don't forget -- your live commentary powers our show!  Show up funny, and continue being that way by yelling out killer one-liners, and you could head home with a prize.  Find us on social media (you know how, you're big kids), and head on out to see us!

Luff,

HMN