First off, allow us to thank all of you for your horrible support of our detestable show. We're so pleased and disgusted to have you all as fans, and look forward to seeing you at our theater show in the future.
In honor of Halloween, let us honor Christmas -- more specifically, the holiday classic, "Silent Night, Deadly Night 2". It has been established that this yule-turd of a movie contains one of the most classic and oft-repeated lines in any bad movie (second only to "the" line in "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon", covered in glorious detail by our friends at the Proudly Resents podcast). To wit:
What we at HMN love is that "garbage day" has become a meme. Following are some of the myriad of hilarious parodies & tributes of this lovely scene. Enjoy!
Labor day!
St. Patrick's Day!
Veteran's Day!
Laundry Day!
HMN
P.S. - November's show is Saturday the 19th -- movie info to follow.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Sashay down the bloody runway with the cast of "Project Vampire"!
Don't forget to stalk us on Facebook and Twitter, get on our mailing list, too. C'mon -- we stalk you. Hope to see you all at the theater!
Most horribly,
HMN
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
It's the terrible twos! Join us for a special birthday show, with "Catman", and "Shattered: If Your Kid's On Drugs"!
Happy birthday, us!
It's been two years since we opened the doors of Horrible Movie Night, and we can't thank our fans enough. We've been having a ton of fun sharing these terrible movies, and have been thrilled to meet & laugh with you all over the last 24 months. But unlike most normal people, instead of getting you something nice, we're going to give you a couple of very awful films that we've been saving for just such a special occasion. For our birthday show, we are presenting some glorious oddballs, "Catman", and "Shattered: If Your Kid's On Drugs". Both of these are short-form pieces that we previously hadn't found a proper place for in our show. You will soon reap the benefits.
Legendary Hong Kong schlockmeister Godfrey Ho has made scores of crummy movies throughout the 80s & 90s. His favorite technique was shooting a short film, and then cutting in a totally unrelated movie to pad it out to feature-length. Lucky for us, one of his short films was 1990's "Catman", about two CIA agents trying to take down a satanic church. One agent is scratched by a radioactive cat (don't ask), and ends up with super powers. Wonderfully, "Catman" was shot with English actors, speaking English -- and dubbed again in English. It's howlingly funny, as the trailer will illustrate:
Also on the bill is 1986's "Shattered: If Your Kid's On Drugs", which was a huge hit when we debuted it at the pre-theater HMN many years ago. An hour-long anti-drug melodrama, it "stars" Burt Reynolds and Judd Nelson (who we're sure were totally court-ordered to be in it) as a Greek chorus to a story of two families struggling with children abusing drugs. As with most TV movies trying to frighten people about drug abuse, it's extremely square, and ripe for HMN-ifying. We know you guys will rise to the occasion. Dermot Mulroney (in his very first role) stars as one of the afflicted youngsters. Here's a clip:
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Saturday, September 24th, 2011
8PM (Doors 7:15PM)
6476 Santa Monica Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90038
$10.
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We'll have drinks available for purchase tin the lobby, as well as baked goods. There will various surprises added as the weeks go along. You can always count on the excellent improv stylings of The Omelettes, who will on-hand to additionally razz the film. And as always, if you yell out the funniest lines of the night, you could win a birthday prize. Tickets are on sale now at the link below via PayPal. Git 'em now before they sell out!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Too horrible for HMN! Exhibit G - "Pushed Too Far"
Ever since we dug the VHS of "Pushed Too Far" from a box in a thrift shop, we at HMN wished so desperately that it was good/bad enough for our show. It's got all the right elements -- slow pace, bad acting, a token "name" actor, and by far the worst box art we've ever seen (a flying ninja over city hall, with Sheriff Lobo looking in the wrong direction), but it just isn't great/bad.
A picture-perfect town in Indiana is the setting for some unexplained attacks on local citizens. The local karate instructor is as puzzled as anyone, until his wife becomes a victim. His teachings of non-violence keep him from seeking revenge, but the killer (a psychotic former professional wrestler) steps up his game. Then, the karate instructor is, wait for it -- pushed too far.
The biggest carbuncle here is Herb Johnson, a karate champion who, natch, plays the karate champion. He was cast for his martial arts skills, not his acting, and it drags the movie down like a lead overcoat. Claude Akins, famous as the aforementioned Sheriff Lobo, looks conspicuously itchy as the (sigh) local sheriff. The fight scenes are silly, the editing is lugubrious, and the villain is hilariously cartoony.
It does have a Facebook appreciation group, quite a feat for a movie with nearly zero online reviews. You can buy the DVD directly from the makers of the film at this link. Just don't tell 'em we sent you.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Zombie Hamlet?! A horribly terrific play written by a HMN favorite.
Hello, fiends -You may remember actor Richard Nathan as the geeky projectionist from our presentation of "The Meateater". He is also a talented & prolific writer, and his most current production is now onstage in Los Angeles. "Hamlet, Prince of Darkness" is a comedic reimagining of the Bard's classic, featuring zombies, vampires and various other creatures of the Scottish night. And thanks to some excellent reviews, it has been extended through the end of July!
It's only $15. and shows at a spooky late hour. All of the info here. Tell Richard that HMN sent 'cha!
Friday, June 17, 2011
"Kiss Daddy Goodbye" gives you double trouble, with guests Alain Silver & Patrick Regan!
Hello hello, horrible movie fans -We hope you're enjoying any time you can get away from work this June like we are -- isn't everybody's vacation spent thumbing through disintegrating cardboard boxes of dusty VHS tapes in creaky resale shops? HMN will return fully energized for a dazzling show in July, with yet another of our unknown blockbadsters, 1981's "Kiss Daddy Goodbye". Our special guests this month will be writer Alain Silver, and writer/director Patrick Regan!
Pretty run-of-the-mill plot: two psychokinetic twins see their father killed by a biker gang, and reanimate his corpse to take revenge. Wait -- what? It gets better: the new sheriff in town (played by 50s teen idol Fabian), must investigate both the rash of recent biker gang-related crimes, and the rash of more recent biker gang murders. Yowza.
This one is wacky crazy. The two plotlines operate autonomously for a good deal of the film -- so you get two movies for the prices of one! The sheriff spends quite a while romancing a wayward member of the Board of Education (played by "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" alum Marilyn Burns) in one thread -- the kids play Atari with their minds in another. You will thrill to the drunken antics of the deceased father's friend, various unexplained boob flashes, and the spooky acting of the twins (neither of whom appeared in a movie before or since). Oh -- and don't miss Chester Grimes, who reprises his role as the snickering biker gang member from "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure."
No trailer exists for this movie, so feast your senses on a short clip:
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Saturday, July 16th, 2011
8PM (Doors 7:15PM)
The Complex Theater
6476 Santa Monica Blvd.
Hollywood, Calif., 90038
$10.
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Again, we are very pleased to welcome special guests to our screening -- Alain Silver, and Patrick Regan will grace our stage for a Q & A after the movie. Patrick has been active in directing & producing in Hollywood for many years, and Alain is an accomplished film author, with his latest book, The Vampire Film: From Nosferatu to True Blood, to be released from Hal Leonard/Limelight this month.
In addition to all the wonderful foolishness this evening will bring, HMN will also feature improv from the gargantuan talent of The Omelettes. They will create scenes based on the film at various points during the show. Don't forget you can win a prize for the best riff yelled out at the show! So be there filled with funny, and direct it at the screen for your chance to be a winner!
Tickets are available now! Click on the link below to purchase them via PayPal. Our last show sold out completely, so get on board early -- it's gonna be a hoot.
We'll look forward to seeing double with you in July!
All of our horrible love,
HMN
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Too horrible for HMN! Exhibit F - "Las Vegas Bloodbath"
As it is (kinda) said in "The Big Lebowski", "Sometimes there's a movie, and sometimes there's a movie." This is that movie. 1989's "Las Vegas Bloodbath" is an astonishing mess, with bipolar pacing that would humble Gary Busey. The story (a term to be used loosely) starts with a real estate agent landing an important deal. Arriving home to share the story with his lady, he finds her in an awful wig in sexual congress with another man. Almost instantly, he turns from humble businessman to giggly maniac. After dispatching them both and removing his wife's head, he (plus the head) drives to Las Vegas to continue his rampage, concentrating mostly on hapless hookers.
Ordinarily, this movie would be a joy, but it is so amateurishly executed (sorry), that it is rendered impossible to like. At one point, the killer stalks a woman at her home, where she is inexplicably hosting an entire women's oil wrestling team. They chat F O R E V E R until the killer manages to do away with his target in a most vile way. We didn't make it through the rest of the film -- we recommend you don't even start.
Here is a particularly cogent vignette from this titanic dud:
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