We go through a lot of movies when programming HMN. There is a very fine line of what makes a great bad movie -- it can't be too bad (i.e. boring, inaudible) or too good (campy, trying too hard). There have been almost-great movies we've seen that haven't made the cut, and we thought we'd share a few with you.
Exhibit A is 2005's "Exterminator City". Like a car that is held together with rivets, this movie is held together by boobs. It involves a serial killer robot that only kills overly-endowed ladies in states on undress. He is hunted by a detective robot with whom, at one point, he has a sword fight (!?). It features some of the worst special effects we've seen (a flying car on a stick in front of a poster of a cityscape).
Beware the trailer is NSFW!
This movie was suggested by one of our fans, and we love your suggestions! Let us know if there's any bad movies we should be aware of -- email us, or add to the discussions page on HMN's Facebook page.
Our one-year anniversary show is Saturday, September 18th -- very special movie to be announced soon!
Hope you're having a horrible summer! It is with great shame & regret that HMN is proud to present August's film, 1987's "Twister's Revenge" -- the talking monster truck movie. It's not often that we find a film with no trailer, but this doorknob of a flick doesn't even have a poster nor VHS box art. It's as if it was never supposed to be seen -- be seen -- be seen --
When the theft turns into Shelley's kidnapping, Dave vows revenge and finds Mr. Twister has developed a personality & speech. The chase to find Shelley and defeat the stone-dumb bad guys features a showdown between Mr. Twister and a tank, and the destruction of an outhouse named -- yes, the Shit House. Welcome to the Shit House.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday, August 14th, 2010 8PM (Doors at 7:15) The Complex - Dorie Theater 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038 $8. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Get on down early to ensure a seat! We'll have recession pricing on beer, wine, water, soda, and freshly-baked brownies. Your host for the evening is HMN's answer to Rod Serling, Tom Winkler. The film will be wonderfully interrupted by The Omelettes, who will provide improv and thought-provoking fart jokes.
Speaking of jokes, if you yell out the funniest riff of the evening, you will win a prize. So don't spurt out any old thing that comes to mind, make it extra special funny-like. It's the honeymoon suite of movie riffing!
Summer is here, and it's time for the first of HMN's blockworsters -- 1987's "Deadly Prey". A compound of vigilante soldiers is training in the mountains (which look a lot like Riverside, CA), and are using ordinary citizens kidnapped from the city as live bait to hone their hunting skills. That is, until they snatch Mike Danton off the sidewalk. Danton is (natch) ex-Special Forces, and can dispatch a bad guy in any number of Bear Grylis-type ways. He must eventually face off with the compound's commander -- his former commanding officer. Didn't see that comin', didja?
This one is a special kind of awful, and we haven't laughed this hard in a while. "Rambo: First Blood" was based on a novel -- if that novel was a coloring book, and they made that coloring book into a movie, you'd have "Deadly Prey". Plus it's the third movie HMN has shown featuring our muse of badness, Cameron Mitchell. This one must not be missed! It's a real grenade down the pants (and yes -- a grenade is shoved down someone's pants).
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday, July 17th, 2010 8PM (Doors at 7:15) The Complex - Ruby Theater 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038 $8. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
We're back downstairs in the Ruby Theater -- you can find us in the main lobby of The Complex. Come on down, and we'll get you a seat! There will be the usual assortment of drinks & libations, along with freshly-baked brownies for the sugar rush you'll need to make fun of this turkey.
Your host for the evening is Tom Winkler of doodie.com, raconteur and veteran of several tours of bad movie duty. The white-hot Omelettes will be on hand for the halftime & end credits improv. You will love them all! That's an order!
And as always, there will be prizes for the funniest riffs of the evening. That's on you! So bring your best funny, and come on down for the horrible fun. Get with us on Facebook, Twitter, and our mailing list, too! Hope to see you there!
We're back somewhat soon with another show, and it's another HMN first -- our first widescreen movie! Before you yell, "Sellout!", know that we wouldn't temporarily abandon our beloved VHS without a good reason. That reason is 2007's "Alien Vs. Hunter".
This mockbuster attempts to emulate the success (?) of "Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem", and lucky for all of us, it stumbles & bumbles like a Charlie Chaplin impersonator. The story centers around Lee (played by "Greatest American Hero" star William Katt), a floundering writer who happens upon a crashed UFO. Once it's found to be chock full o' alien hostility, he gathers up some of the townsfolk to make a stand. It soon becomes clear there are two alien forces in town, bent on destroying each other and any other meat bags in their way. Who will be victorious -- alien, human, or neither?
It's a staggeringly wonderful film. It has occupied space in the IMDB Bottom 100 list practically since it's been released. By their own admission, the filmmakers have said they rarely did more than two takes for each scene -- and boy, does it show. The actors get lost from each other in the editing, the dialogue is bizarre, and the special effects are, well -- special. It also stars Dedee Pfeiffer, Michelle Pfeiffer's sister. However, it's William Katt's acting that takes the cake. You will see why he was once on the short list to play Luke Skywalker.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday, June 5th, 2010 8PM (Doors at 7:15) The Complex - Flight Theater 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038 $8. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
We've bounced back upstairs to the Flight Theater, so make sure to follow the signs, and look for us up there this month. The theater will fill up quickly, so git yer butt down there EARLY -- it's the only way to guarantee a seat. We'll ply your will with beer, wine, soft drinks, and brownies. Y'know, so it won't sting so much.
Our beloved Omelettes will take the stage halfway through the film, and improv the heck outta you. And we're counting on YOU to exercise your funny muscles and bring your best one-liners to roast this turkey. You may just win a prize at the end of the show!
This month's HMN is brought to you by our good pals at The Asylum. If you've ever switched on SyFy late at night, you've probably caught one of their magnum opuses. We're very glad to have them aboard -- go check out their site to see previews of upcoming films, and perhaps buy a hat, mug, or DVD!
Make sure to get cozy with our Facebook page, hop on to us on Twitter, and get on our mailing list if you ain't already. So chose Team Alien or Team Hunter, and we'll see you at the theater! Thanks for your support!
Well, you did it again -- you all made our screening of "The Meateater" meaty, meaty great! It was a killer show all around. We also thank HMN's very first special guest, Richard Nathan, who acted in the film. He was a great sport, a treat to have onstage, and made a great evening even better. If you'd like to know more about the man, visit his site, and see him act in a recent video.
We also want to thank our good pals at Candy Warehouse, our sponsor for the show. Check 'em out for the best candy site out there (a great source for nostalgic candy, too).
We'll be back Saturday, June 5th for our next show, featuring "Alien Vs. Hunter". More details soon. Hope to see you all again!
A summer's worth of blockbusters will soon be anointed upon the feet of the moviegoing public, so since nature abhors a vacuum, we have an onslaught of Horrible Movies all set to play counterpoint for the next few months. Next up is 1979's horror movie fumble, "The Meateater".
A jaw-dropping mess, this is the story of Mitford Webster, a hapless shoe salesman who dreams of one day owning a movie theater. Just his rotten luck the one he finally purchases comes equipped with its own psycho killer in the attic! When people start turning up dead, the corpulent police department is no match for the acumen of the slow-moving slayer. Will Mitford and his plucky family survive to serve another bag of stale popcorn?
Even for us at HMN, this one took our breath away. The guy playing Mitford is quite possibly the worst (therefore absolutely delightful) actor we've ever seen. No one ever has ever pronounced the word "theater" finer. The character names are fantastic (Detective Wombat? Really?), and dialogue clunks to the floor as soon as it is uttered. The color is so bad that it looks like the film has been sitting in a sun-bleached window for a few months.
And then there's the meat.
Supposedly, the filmmakers ran out of money, and appealed to the California Pork Board for help. In exchange, there are many incongruous references to meat -- the benefits of breakfast sausages are extolled, the Oscar Mayer wiener song is sung, and Detective Wombat chomps incessantly on beef jerky. "The Meateater" is an insane joy.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday, May 15th, 2010 8PM (Doors at 7:15) The Complex - East Theater 6468 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038 $8. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The movie will be served up by your host, Tom Winkler, creator of doodie.com, and I'm Not Insane. Adding spices will be The Omelettes, who will improv their way into your tummies by way of your heart. If you survive the movie, you may win a prize for the absolute best comments yelled out during the show. Bring your A game, people -- we want to hear comedy gems. There will be a spectrum of drinks available, as well as freshly-baked brownies, the quietest movie snack ever. And there will be a special surprise guest -- a HMN first!
We are in a new theater this month -- the East Theater is still part of The Complex, but has its own entrance at 6468 Santa Monica Blvd. Please ARRIVE EARLY! We have limited seating, and it filled up quickly last time. Thanks again for your support, tell a friend, join our variouslists, and we'll see you at the theater!
Every once in a while here at HMN headquarters, we discover a movie so stunningly staggeringly bad, it surprises even us. That movie is our latest cinematic Hindenburg, 1983's "Microwave Massacre". It's the tragic tale of Donald, a lowly dipshit who works construction, who is tormented by the overly fancy meals prepared by his gourmet cook wife, May. One drunken night, he can't take another chicken cordon bleu, so he whacks her and eats her (!). From that point on, he sates his taste for human flesh by picking up various women for take-out.
The lead role is played by Jackie Vernon, the voice of Frosty the Snowman in the beloved Rankin/Bass classic cartoon. You'll never hear, "Happy Birthday" the same way ever again. You also get the rubberiest severed body parts, the gigantic-est microwave oven, and the porniest of 70s funk soundtracks. Not to mention gratuitous 80s boobage (the trailer below is NSFW)!
The comedy is psychotic, the horror is hysterical, the script is ludicrous, and the direction is baffling. This one truly smacked our gob, and we cordially dare you to join us to send up this masterpiece.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday, April 10, 2009 8PM (Doors at 7:15) The Complex - 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038 $8. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
This month's show is being brought to you with the support of our pals at Anthem Pictures -- visit their site to see the plethora of great films they have available!
The Omelettes will be on hand to perform improv halfway through the picture, and take the film out to the woodshed at the end. Your host is Tom Winkler, creator of doodie.com, and the brand-new I'm Not Insane. He will guide you all through this month's movie like a swan boat through a Tunnel of Love.
You will also be competing for prizes honoring the funniest quips shouted out during the movie -- this movie ain't gonna riff itself! We'll have all manner of drinks available, plus freshly-baked brownies! Come down early to insure a spot. We have very limited seating! Follow us on Facebook & Twitter, and sign up for updates at horriblemovie@pacbell.net, if you haven't already. Bring a friend or two, and come on down! We'll look forward to seeing you & thanks for the support.
We go through a lot of movies when programming HMN. There is a very fine line of what makes a great bad movie -- it can't be too bad (i.e. boring, inaudible) or too good (campy, trying too hard). There have been almost-great movies we've seen that haven't made the cut, and we thought we'd share a few with you.
