Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Too horrible for HMN! Exhibit P: "Laser Moon"
Here's another in our semi-regular series of movies fully-awful -- movies too crummy even for us.
1993 brought the world "Laser Moon", one of many post-porn sorties for Traci Lords. She had been on this path for a few years, so it's not "Not of This Earth"-level bad. It's just drop-dead boring.
A serial killer is on the loose, and he kills only under a full moon. Even more specific is his weapon of choice -- a high-powered laser, which he presses against his victims' head, boiling their brains. It ain't a very scary weapon. It looks more like a big laser pointer.
Anyway, the killer taunts the public by calling in to a popular talk radio program with clues and boasts. Traci is a forensic cop assigned to catch the laser villain. She has scenes with the radio DJ, other cops, and various randos that bend time with how long they drag on. It's like Eric Bogosian's "Talk Radio" meets a bottle of Nyquil.
We'd link a clip, but the internet has rejected any video evidence like the human body rejects a black market kidney. Seek it out if you need assistance falling asleep.
Our next HMN show at NerdMelt in Hollywood will be Saturday, May 9th. We'll have an announcement of the chilly selection we've made, along with our awesome stand-ups. Stay with us!