It's nearly time to unspool another of our impossibly awful films, and we'd love to have you collectively feel the pain. "Uninvited" is a hilarious sea voyage with a murderous mutant cat, dopey college kids, and knucklehead criminals. It mustn't be missed!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday, October 16th, 2010 - 8PM
(Doors at 7:15) The Complex - Dorie Theater 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038 $8. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
We set sail this Saturday at 8PM, so make sure to get on board at the Dorie Theater in The Complex. This show is brought to you by Cheezy Flicks, who fully endorse "Uninvited" as fine example of glorious cheesy cinema.
Tell a friend, and come join us! Thanks for your support.
Here's another entry in our ongoing series of movies we've screened that have not made the cut for our show, but are still worth a masochistic look.
Exhibit B is 1991's "Beasties", which unfortunately has nothing to do with the Boys of the same name. It's a goof on the 1950s alien-invasion-during-teen-rutting-season, with some odd additions. A nerdy science major goes on a double date, with the worst John Candy/Robin Williams imitator tagging along as his wingman. The group is captured by some punks (the zeitgeist version of punk rockers of the late 80s), who are in league with a satanic priestess. Oh, and there's aliens, too.
It's fun and stupid and weird and all the good things that make a HMN movie, but it's a bit slow, and shot amazing poorly (it was filmed in Super 8, and the DVD is a VHS transfer). There's a lot of funny moments, though, as evidenced in the trailer below. Watch only if you have extra ADHD meds.
Don't forget to join us for the killer mutant cat opus "Uninvited" this Saturday, October 16th at The Complex in Hollywood!
Hope you had a great summer, and it was a hoot to host many of you during our first horrible year of bad movie shows. And we're only getting ramped up -- prepare for the October/Halloween edition of Horrible Movie Night! You are hereby invited to "Uninvited"!
From 1988, "Uninvited" is a rollicking, scary voyage aboard a luxury yacht, with the unlikely combo of nubile spring-breakers and criminal venture capitalists. A simple excursion to the Cayman Islands is terrorized by a genetically-mutated cat who kills, at first, only mean people, then indiscriminately. Director Greydon Clark also gave us the videogame sex romp "Joysticks".
It's hilariously bad -- when the cat mutates to attack, a hairball-like creature pops out of its mouth to bite ankles, wrists, and other body parts to a comically bloody effect. It also stars screen legend George Kennedy, who heavily sighs his way through his role as the criminal mastermind's bodyguard. Along with some other seasoned character actors (including Clu Gulager of "Return of the Living Dead"), the cast is filled out with young duds fumbling through their death scenes. "Uninvited" is an absolute joy to behold.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday, October 16th, 2010 8PM (Doors at 7:15) The Complex - Dorie Theater 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038 $8. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- This month's HMN is brought to you by the good folks at Cheezy Flicks Entertainment, purveyors of wondrous cinematic examples of cult, horror, and -- well, cheese. Visit them and browse their inspiring collection of DVDs -- including "Uninvited"!
As always, you can count on host Tom Winkler of doodie.com to guide you through the hilarious haunted house that is HMN. The cackling ghosts & skeletons will be played by The Omelettes, peppering the evening with spooky improv. But the real star of the night is YOU! Come equipped with your funniest jibes & japes, and you may stumble home with a prize for the best one-liner of the show.
We'll have beer, wine, and other delicious beverages, along with freshly-baked brownies. Come early to secure yourself a seat or two -- park on Wilcox, north of Santa Monica Blvd. for choice parking. We promise we won't shred your couch or eat your houseplants if you join us for this purrrfectly horrible evening! See you then!
The Horrible Movie Nightly news is September marks one year of bad movies, great improv, and hilarious commentary. So to celebrate, we've dug deep into the archive (meaning the gap between the wall and the video shelf where all the worst movies hide) to find an especially odious film to subject you to. It's a little something called, "Alien Warrior" a.k.a, "King of the Streets".
From 1985, this innocuously-titled film is the very thinly veiled story of Jesus' brother (nicknamed Buddy, the original Buddy Christ) who comes to Earth to fight "great evil" in order to make a difference for us humans. Said great evil turns out to be "Mr. One", a pimp and crime kingpin with a booming business of blackmail, prostitution, and really mean staredowns. A collection of disaffected Los Angelenos match wits, fists, and bullets with Mr. One & his gang, thanks to Buddy's various teachings. He also tries to impart a message of kindness & empathy, but also bloodies up a whole lot of people, and sexes down a literacy volunteer.
This film has a severe case of cinematic schizophrenia -- it has no idea what it wants to be. Is it an action movie? Inspirational film? Soft-core? Comedy? After-school special? It certainly tries on all those hats, yet leaves the store without buying. You do, however, get to see the crime lord firing an Uzi while dressed only in his tighty whities. You'll feel like you were hit with an electric cattle prod after watching this one. In a good way.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday, September 18th, 2010 8PM (Doors at 7:15) The Complex - Dorie Theater 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038 $8. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
We'd love to have you down to help us celebrate! Seating is limited. Come down early to snag some seats, some drinks, and food from whatever food truck is outside the Smodcastle next door. We'll have beer, wine, soda, and water for sale to help hydrate your funny bone. Parking is best on Wilcox, north of Santa Monica Blvd. Map it, dude.
Your host is Tom Winkler, grizzled veteran of many bad movies, and creator of doodie.com. Halftime improv will hilariously hurled at you courtesy of The Omelettes.
Remember that you can win a special prize for the funniest riff of the night, but only if you give us your best. So polish up your best witticisms for a great evening of painfully funny cinema. Get on the mailing list if y'ain't, and accept our friendship on Facebook and Twitter, too.
We'll hope to see you -- in September, into our second year, and beyond! Thanks for your support.
We go through a lot of movies when programming HMN. There is a very fine line of what makes a great bad movie -- it can't be too bad (i.e. boring, inaudible) or too good (campy, trying too hard). There have been almost-great movies we've seen that haven't made the cut, and we thought we'd share a few with you.
Exhibit A is 2005's "Exterminator City". Like a car that is held together with rivets, this movie is held together by boobs. It involves a serial killer robot that only kills overly-endowed ladies in states on undress. He is hunted by a detective robot with whom, at one point, he has a sword fight (!?). It features some of the worst special effects we've seen (a flying car on a stick in front of a poster of a cityscape).
Beware the trailer is NSFW!
This movie was suggested by one of our fans, and we love your suggestions! Let us know if there's any bad movies we should be aware of -- email us, or add to the discussions page on HMN's Facebook page.
Our one-year anniversary show is Saturday, September 18th -- very special movie to be announced soon!
Hope you're having a horrible summer! It is with great shame & regret that HMN is proud to present August's film, 1987's "Twister's Revenge" -- the talking monster truck movie. It's not often that we find a film with no trailer, but this doorknob of a flick doesn't even have a poster nor VHS box art. It's as if it was never supposed to be seen -- be seen -- be seen --
When the theft turns into Shelley's kidnapping, Dave vows revenge and finds Mr. Twister has developed a personality & speech. The chase to find Shelley and defeat the stone-dumb bad guys features a showdown between Mr. Twister and a tank, and the destruction of an outhouse named -- yes, the Shit House. Welcome to the Shit House.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday, August 14th, 2010 8PM (Doors at 7:15) The Complex - Dorie Theater 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038 $8. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Get on down early to ensure a seat! We'll have recession pricing on beer, wine, water, soda, and freshly-baked brownies. Your host for the evening is HMN's answer to Rod Serling, Tom Winkler. The film will be wonderfully interrupted by The Omelettes, who will provide improv and thought-provoking fart jokes.
Speaking of jokes, if you yell out the funniest riff of the evening, you will win a prize. So don't spurt out any old thing that comes to mind, make it extra special funny-like. It's the honeymoon suite of movie riffing!
Summer is here, and it's time for the first of HMN's blockworsters -- 1987's "Deadly Prey". A compound of vigilante soldiers is training in the mountains (which look a lot like Riverside, CA), and are using ordinary citizens kidnapped from the city as live bait to hone their hunting skills. That is, until they snatch Mike Danton off the sidewalk. Danton is (natch) ex-Special Forces, and can dispatch a bad guy in any number of Bear Grylis-type ways. He must eventually face off with the compound's commander -- his former commanding officer. Didn't see that comin', didja?
This one is a special kind of awful, and we haven't laughed this hard in a while. "Rambo: First Blood" was based on a novel -- if that novel was a coloring book, and they made that coloring book into a movie, you'd have "Deadly Prey". Plus it's the third movie HMN has shown featuring our muse of badness, Cameron Mitchell. This one must not be missed! It's a real grenade down the pants (and yes -- a grenade is shoved down someone's pants).
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Saturday, July 17th, 2010 8PM (Doors at 7:15) The Complex - Ruby Theater 6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038 $8. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
We're back downstairs in the Ruby Theater -- you can find us in the main lobby of The Complex. Come on down, and we'll get you a seat! There will be the usual assortment of drinks & libations, along with freshly-baked brownies for the sugar rush you'll need to make fun of this turkey.
Your host for the evening is Tom Winkler of doodie.com, raconteur and veteran of several tours of bad movie duty. The white-hot Omelettes will be on hand for the halftime & end credits improv. You will love them all! That's an order!
And as always, there will be prizes for the funniest riffs of the evening. That's on you! So bring your best funny, and come on down for the horrible fun. Get with us on Facebook, Twitter, and our mailing list, too! Hope to see you there!
