Sunday, September 26, 2010

You'll need all nine lives to survive "Uninvited"!

Fall back, HMNers!

Hope you had a great summer, and it was a hoot to host many of you during our first horrible year of bad movie shows. And we're only getting ramped up -- prepare for the October/Halloween edition of Horrible Movie Night! You are hereby invited to "Uninvited"!

From 1988, "Uninvited" is a rollicking, scary voyage aboard a luxury yacht, with the unlikely combo of nubile spring-breakers and criminal venture capitalists. A simple excursion to the Cayman Islands is terrorized by a genetically-mutated cat who kills, at first, only mean people, then indiscriminately. Director Greydon Clark also gave us the videogame sex romp "Joysticks".

It's hilariously bad -- when the cat mutates to attack, a hairball-like creature pops out of its mouth to bite ankles, wrists, and other body parts to a comically bloody effect. It also stars screen legend George Kennedy, who heavily sighs his way through his role as the criminal mastermind's bodyguard. Along with some other seasoned character actors (including Clu Gulager of "Return of the Living Dead"), the cast is filled out with young duds fumbling through their death scenes. "Uninvited" is an absolute joy to behold.



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Saturday, October 16th, 2010
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - Dorie Theater
6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
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This month's HMN is brought to you by the good folks at Cheezy Flicks Entertainment, purveyors of wondrous cinematic examples of cult, horror, and -- well, cheese. Visit them and browse their inspiring collection of DVDs -- including "Uninvited"!

As always, you can count on host Tom Winkler of doodie.com to guide you through the hilarious haunted house that is HMN. The cackling ghosts & skeletons will be played by The Omelettes, peppering the evening with spooky improv. But the real star of the night is YOU! Come equipped with your funniest jibes & japes, and you may stumble home with a prize for the best one-liner of the show.

We'll have beer, wine, and other delicious beverages, along with freshly-baked brownies. Come early to secure yourself a seat or two -- park on Wilcox, north of Santa Monica Blvd. for choice parking. We promise we won't shred your couch or eat your houseplants if you join us for this purrrfectly horrible evening! See you then!

Meow,

HMN

Saturday, September 4, 2010

It's our first anniversary, and you get the gift -- of "Alien Warrior"!

Happy anniversary, HMNers!

The Horrible Movie Nightly news is September marks one year of bad movies, great improv, and hilarious commentary. So to celebrate, we've dug deep into the archive (meaning the gap between the wall and the video shelf where all the worst movies hide) to find an especially odious film to subject you to. It's a little something called, "Alien Warrior" a.k.a, "King of the Streets".

From 1985, this innocuously-titled film is the very thinly veiled story of Jesus' brother (nicknamed Buddy, the original Buddy Christ) who comes to Earth to fight "great evil" in order to make a difference for us humans. Said great evil turns out to be "Mr. One", a pimp and crime kingpin with a booming business of blackmail, prostitution, and really mean staredowns. A collection of disaffected Los Angelenos match wits, fists, and bullets with Mr. One & his gang, thanks to Buddy's various teachings. He also tries to impart a message of kindness & empathy, but also bloodies up a whole lot of people, and sexes down a literacy volunteer.

This film has a severe case of cinematic schizophrenia -- it has no idea what it wants to be. Is it an action movie? Inspirational film? Soft-core? Comedy? After-school special? It certainly tries on all those hats, yet leaves the store without buying. You do, however, get to see the crime lord firing an Uzi while dressed only in his tighty whities. You'll feel like you were hit with an electric cattle prod after watching this one. In a good way.



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Saturday, September 18th, 2010
8PM (Doors at 7:15)
The Complex - Dorie Theater
6476 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, Calif 90038
$8.
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We'd love to have you down to help us celebrate! Seating is limited. Come down early to snag some seats, some drinks, and food from whatever food truck is outside the Smodcastle next door. We'll have beer, wine, soda, and water for sale to help hydrate your funny bone. Parking is best on Wilcox, north of Santa Monica Blvd. Map it, dude.

Your host is Tom Winkler, grizzled veteran of many bad movies, and creator of doodie.com. Halftime improv will hilariously hurled at you courtesy of The Omelettes.

Remember that you can win a special prize for the funniest riff of the night, but only if you give us your best. So polish up your best witticisms for a great evening of painfully funny cinema. Get on the mailing list if y'ain't, and accept our friendship on Facebook and Twitter, too.

We'll hope to see you -- in September, into our second year, and beyond! Thanks for your support.

We remain yours,

HMN